August 30, 2010

don’t think it can’t happen, because it can…


a person that has faith and trust people… even after every time i have got slapped by life or got my heart-broken… somehow i still get up and trust someone else in my life that usually helps me to get over the last pain by his/her words and in most cases that person been a friend nothing more…


last time my heart got broken was last winter… i had to stop the work in the cafe shop where i had to work over 12 hours/ 6 days for 15 euros a day… i was managing, waitering, cleaning, ordering and even checking stock…. and didn’t see my sweet daughter who stayed home alone every day. and when i did stop that meant no food… no food for me and iida. we had some pasta in the house and few bags of beans… that was all!!! but that was not the heart break, it was when i picked the phone and texted a man who promised to help if i needed any help in the winter… stelios who always was the nicest and a wonderful person knew i was alone with my girl, he was working for his father in the restaurant… our divorce was not final yet so legally he was still my husband… so yes… he broke my heart when i texted him and told him;

i never asked you for money and i will still not ask.. but i had to stop work in the cafe. and now me and iida have no food. i just was wondering if you could bring us sometimes food from the restaurant as the food is free for you there!

and guess what… the loving man i once knew… had no heart not even to answer and apologise or tell me he couldn’t!!! he just ignored! it’s ok i said to my self and we managed with boiled pasta and once a week some beans… and we are both strong women and can get over anything… and my friends in bahrain kept my heart smiling telling me how i have real friends here and how i will have better life! after sometime i said it’s ok… stelios is not a bad person. he is just in a new relationship and most probably his new woman doesn’t want him to be contacting his ex…


one of the friends from bahrain… actually the main one… who always kept telling me the right things… who always showed that he/she will be standing by my side as he/she is a true friend… we spoke, texted ever few weeks at least just to give me a boost and help me through some hard times!!! i came to bahrain to find him/her suddenly paying for so many things that made me so uncomfortable… and in my head i said he/she was just a friend and i will pay him/her back as soon as i’m settled and get to make my salary… then come the day where he/she says to me to get lost… i tried to understand why… did i do anything wrong??? the words were clear GET LOST… i said ok, maybe he/she needs his/her space so i backed off… but somehow it felt more personal, when i get news from other friends the he/she has been making contact with them… ok what did i do wrong… i know he/she keeps telling me i should change my hair and i look ugly with my hair and it’s too short and the colour is so wrong, but come on no real friend would want to stop talking to you because of your hairstyle!!! it’s just not possible!!! not in my experience and i had many including my best friend in the world EMMI… she never liked my clothes or sometimes my style in other things… and she made it clear and said it out loud then after some time hugged me and said but you know what i love you for you so i do not care how you look… after all she is my friend and doesn’t have to wake up in the morning to look at my style and face nor will she be having sex with me to bother if my style turns her on or no…. so why would a friend stop talking to me because of my hairstyle… i think as few other friends around us that it’s something else that has nothing to do with my hair style!


well he/she is a good person… and i wish him/her all the best in life… i will always love this person and always remember the good things he/she did for me, the good amazing laughs we had… great meals he introduced me to… i will always love this person just the way i love stelios… just the way i love many other people who broke my heart but i forgave them!!! and so… i forgive you… and i’ll always be bit sad for losing a friend and a person i love from my life, but don’t think it can’t happen, because it can and it happened to me!!!


Blog at