SHE WHO ENTANGLES MEN

August 2, 2012

Loving Finland

Filed under: ALI DADI,FINLAND,FRIENDS,HOLIDAYS,MY DAUGHTER,PERSONAL,PLEASURES — by noracassandra @ 6:02 am

We are here for few days now. Well almost 1 week has passed, but it seemed just few days. The best part we have done so much already!! 🙂

Ali seems to be having fun and Iida asking when are we moving back means she is really loving it.

For me it’s just simple. I’m Loving Finland!!

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July 24, 2012

Being someone’s first love is great, but to be their LAST is beyond PERFECT!!

Filed under: ALI DADI,BAHRAIN,FAMILY,FINLAND,LOVE,PERSONAL — by noracassandra @ 11:13 am

So they tell Ali how come… She was married before and had been in love before!!

And they tell me how come… you are not his first love!!!

I say… I met a man who I never intended to fall in love with. I don’t think it was his plan to fall in love with me either. I am not for his culture even if I understand it as my father’s families are Sheat Muslims. But end of the day I do not believe or follow their believes.

I am not sure why me when he have had such lovely women in his life. And he had many others available waiting for a sign from him to ask them out.

I fell for Ali’s family before meeting them, now that I have met them and actually moved in to live in the same house with his parents I have to say I was wrong… They are not at all as nice a wonderful and sweet as I thought THEY ARE MUCH BETTER AND SWEETER AND LOVING. They are AMAZING.

I met some cousins, which I like and I am actually going shopping tomorrow with one for sweets for my trip to Finland. I am happy with what I have chosen and what have come to my life after falling in love with Ali.

He will be joining Iida and me in our trip to Finland where he will love my family and friends. Hoping he will like them as I love his family and friends!

In the end of the day Being someone’s first love is great, but to be their LAST is beyond PERFECT!!

July 22, 2012

I hope Ali Dadi will love this trip

Filed under: ALI DADI,BAHRAIN,FAMILY,FINLAND,FRIENDS,LOVE,MY DAUGHTER,PERSONAL,PLEASURES — by noracassandra @ 12:01 pm

I can’t wait to see my mum, friends and family… only few days left and I will be breathing that air I missed!

But this time I’ll be with the man I love. Ali Dadi is joining Iida and me on this trip. So much in plan not sure what we can and can’t do in this short time we are there!

We are even visiting Sweden! How we will manage to do all what are planning to do!? 😛

I can’t wait for my mum to hug me!! I can’t wait to go out with Emmi!! I can’t wait to go for the Cruise to Sweden with Kerttu!!! I can’t wait to see my little niece and my sister Sara and talk about Bahrain!!! And now knowing we have family gatherings at my Aunt Anna-Liisa’s place made me so happy!!! 

I hope Ali Dadi will love this trip. Hoping he will love my Family and friends! Well… I’m sure he will love everyone because he loves me!

May 18, 2012

I rather not use labels

Filed under: BEAUTY,FINLAND,PAST,SAD — by noracassandra @ 4:46 pm

I know 2 posts in one day is something I haven’t done for years… But I saw something reminded me of sometime from the past… and of people i have met and heard of lately… so I had to write!!!!

So it was… A stranger on your steps. Looking exactly like a person you never wanted to inter your house. But you welcome them as you have been taught the ways to do so. You great them with respect you were brought up with. You offer them something to drink. You serve them some of your humble bread. You never ask them to stop expressing who they are and you study them without them noticing.

You like what you hear, you stop looking at their clothing at their hair and at their shoes… You look deep in their eyes and souls. You start smiling at them. You laugh at their jokes and agree with their statements.

Suddenly you realize you missed judged them simply for being different. You understand people can different from you are but still great to have around.

This reminds me of my one time work day with Circus Mundus Absurdus in Finland. It was in Imatra. Very scary people I thought… Horrible looking… Trouble act… And I was not comfortable at all around them. After the show they sat with me… Make up was removed off their faces… The blood was wiped of their skin… And funny thing was contact lenses were taken off to put on cute eyeglasses. Conversations started. Suddenly I realized I was talking to an amazing high degree university holder. We went to a club after where we were all invited as guests of honor and music started and it moved this man like I have never seen a white man move before to find out he was before his career a professional ballet dancer. Ballet, philosophy, kindness and sweetness were no what expected from men looking like they did. Well I was wrong! I realized I had the human’s bad habit to judge by look and say the book can be judged by it’s cover… I realized I was wrong doing so.

Today when someone comes by looking like … well I rather not use labels… I will simply say who am I to judge? And what if this person is much higher, more beautiful, smarter or simply much more good inside out than I would ever be? Who am I to call names people simply because they look different or come from different background.

Watch this video for inspiration… and think of all the people who judged her because she looked different!

July 2, 2011

I am happy…

Filed under: BAHRAIN,CYPRUS,FINLAND,FOOD,FRIENDS,HISTORY,KUWAIT,MY DAUGHTER,PAST,PERSONAL,WORK — by noracassandra @ 9:20 am

I just found sometime to write…

I actually don’t know where to start. So much has happened around me. Political stuff, mental stuff, heart related stuff, work, Iida, Ali.

Well. Politics… I do NOT give my opinion there… As I said in Cyprus before that in Finland and even before that in Kuwait. Wars and political issues always have 2 sides or more… And non I meet even wants to see both sides… As most of the world will say one side has the right, but still there in still the other side… In wars as in Cyprus Turkey’s war people said how bad the Turks were and how they did all the war crimes… They even try to plant hate in the kids’ hearts in schools toward the Turks. I disagreed with that as Iida came to me saying she had to write a school report of the war crimes Turkish Cypriot did to the Greek Cypriots. I simply told her if the teacher allows you to write of the war crimes the Greek Cypriots did to the Turkish Cypriots and vice versa than you can write the report but you are not allowed to take sides in a war happened decades ago! After all each war has it’s victims from both sides. Even if I am a Kuwaiti and love Kuwait and will never agree with Saddam did to Kuwait, I still know that, that war did not end with only Kuwaitis getting hurt. I know Kuwaitis also ended up doing war crimes against Iraqi soldiers and even Iraqi civilians living in Kuwait at that time. In my opinion as a Fin, things should be talked about and found solutions without troubling anyone’s life… But then again if there never were someone who disagrees or protests the world would stop developing! After all how did women in Finland got their strong stand today if it wasn’t for the fight they went through… But still… I will never take sides in fights, conflicts or arguments that clearly are not for me!

I got let go from my previous job because of the mess that happened in Bahrain. I was broke, mentally tired, and not sure even if I would stay in Bahrain. I was so close to move back to Finland but to be honest was so happy things went back to normal and I got a new job!

I have to say Bahrain is back to normal. Yes you see still check points and security police around more than you did 6 months ago, but it’s back to normal. Friends are back to their spots meeting up, Sunni and Sheea friends are still on same table joking and enjoying life and their friendship. So I am staying here and still think Bahrain is really cool and I love being here!!!

I love my new job! I will not talk about it much as I still have 1 more month of probation till I’m settled in. I just got to say I really love Restaurant, kitchen and FRONTLINE positions… So YES back to hospitality and restaurant business! 🙂

I’m still in Love with the same man! He is away right now in India which maybe is the reason I am at home and have the time to write as he left me his laptop! 😛

Iida got accepted to AMA school. She went for the entrance exam with Ali. She came out with the teacher, as it seems she got her impressed! She passed the exam with full mark and she was told that she would be put into A class… where they put all their hard-working students to not have bad influence from other students in other classes.

That’s about it for now! I am happy… Alive… In love… Enjoying my new job… And so proud of my little girl! 🙂

March 8, 2011

Happy Women’s Day… Be proud of being one!!!

Filed under: Blogroll,FAMILY,FINLAND,FRIENDS,HISTORY,LOVE,PERSONAL,SAD,WRITING — by noracassandra @ 8:46 am

يوم سعيد .ليكن اليوم فاصل في ازمنتنا التي تتباهي بحركية موج التمرد .. الذي لن ينتصر نهائيا الا متى تانثت القيم والتصورات والعلامات …لانه في تانثها تحرير لها من ازمنة الدكورة التي قامت على قهر الانسان وعلى استعباده وفرض خنوعه وخضوعه… ليس يوما للاحتفال فقط بعيد المراة ..بل يوم لغرس قيم مناقضة لقيم التهميش ورفض لسلط ذكورة لم يشهد تاريخها سوى على ما اثقل البشرية بالدماء والنهب واللصوصية والولاءات الزائفة

Good day. May this day be the dividing point for our crisis that are being showed off with the insurgency and rebellion waves… Which will not have a complete win (or success) until the feminization of the values, the perceptions and the signs… Because with feminizing them it would set them free from the male and masculinity times that got to conquer humanity by slavering it and by applying on it the imposition of subservient (obedience) and surrender… It’s not just a day to celebrate the Women’s Day… But a day to implant values that contrasts the values of marginalization (subordinate) and to refuse male and masculine power that its history did not witness anything but the great pressure on humanity with blood, looting, larceny and false loyalties.

This was written by a friend who is an artist and writer. An Arab, Male, very Masculine and older than 40 years, Married. So not a woman nor a gay man has written this paragraph.

Is it… Is it true if feminizing the rules and the Arab world it would save them? Well… It might be a good idea to apply or at least to try as we did in Finland and many other countries including US and UK… It seems to be working there!

For what it’s worth… I am proud to be woman! I am Proud of being my mum’s daughter who is a great woman herself. And so proud to her mother’s grandchild as an amazing mother of three wonderful women that make our family stand and made other families stand through the years… Yes a family of women and I am so proud to be one of them!!! True thanks for my very few male cousins in the women’s family for adopting the feminine values we carried on… Thank you for being proud of our strength and thank you for respecting us throughout the years….

Happy Women’s Day… Be proud of being one!!!

September 15, 2010

how come you try to judge me, and expect me to judge you???

Filed under: BAHRAIN,CYPRUS,FAMILY,FINLAND,FRIENDS,HATE,KUWAIT,LOVE,MY DAUGHTER,PAST,PERSONAL — by noracassandra @ 8:33 am

 

so this is to some people who are new to my blog…

 

my first name is nora cassandra… i was born in finland september 1978… my mum is practically an atheist and some moments i think she believes if there was a god then it’s a woman… her mother (or family) are christian lutherans. my dad has introduced himself with many religions, one was chritianity when met my mum another is science and last i knew about was a muslim sheat… my dad’s family are sheat muslims… i was also baptised in a greek orthodox church before marrying my second husband…

 

i was raised for my first 7 years in finalnd… churches was somewhere i visited very often with my grandmother… so yes i did grow up thinking god’s name is jesus!!!! and it was also where i was taught women have rights and so does children and animals!!! then after i was kidnapped by my dad… i was beaten up for over 6 years to pray a prayer and do things without being convinced about them… i still have bruises at my age to remind me… and my dad’s family, when i became a teenager and after years of trying to do what they want me to do just to get their love… rejected me. i was called names behind my back as the christian’s daughter… not original… and of course the worst of all (my dad’s name)’s daughter!!!! at the age of 15 i knew i was and will never be a muslim… with all my respect to my muslim family they were never able to convince me… and with all my respect to my sunnat muslim teachers, they never were able to convince me either!!!

 

i was into cars, motorbikes, sports, politics but not shopping nor love… i was a man who was in a woman’s, body… but i wasn’t into girls and don’t think will ever be… so i’m straight!!! it was just that kuwaiti women were not kind of women i would get along with… so i hanged out with guys… never had sex nor real boyfriend with sexual relation… max i did was kissing but even that didn’t feel much so never was in love in my teenage years… so i wasn’t a bad girl not even if you go through islamic or any religion’s (laws)… i just liked things boys liked and was accepted by them as one of them!!!

 

i was very angry young woman… but i still believed that i had rights to choose my life and my actions just as i remembered i had the right in finalnd… i had my first sexual relationship when i was 20… i had real intercourse… i do not regret it and still would do it again with the same guy… no i was not in love with him, but we had such a connection that it felt right!!! months after that got married to a sunni muslim (not the man i had sex with) at the age of 20, what do we really know about love… i just wanted to get out of my dad’s house and away from a family that hates me because i’m different!! but sadly it didn’t work out… as i was alone in kuwait no family except a husband that we fell out of love in few months… i had no one!!!

 

i went to finalnd… in finalnd at first i was trying to do what ever my mum wanted me to do or i thought she wanted me to do… that what all the hate and beating in kuwait taught me… you should act and behave in the way people want you to do so you would be loved… but soon after i realized my mum was nothing like that!!!!

 

i could be a jew, muslim, christian, atheist or even a satanist as long as she cared… she just wanted to see me happy… came a day where i was dating tony… my big love and heartbreak… she did not like him at all.. well he was a dealer and a looser but i still fell for him… she said to me she didn’t like him and wishes i would see that he is no good for me, but in the end of the conversation she said nora cassandra, i love you and you are an adult… i will love you if you date the devil himself as much as i will love you dating a saint… nothing will change my love to you!!!

 

another thing she always reminded me with is that i’m a woman… i need men for one thing only in my life as a young lady… i need them for sex only… i do not need one to take care of me… i do not need a man to have kids as i have my daughter… i do not need them to make me feel safe as i can do all that myself… so when i meet a man i like a lot, feel comfortable to spend my time with, share my empty space with, sleep next to regularly, enjoy sex every time, and he is not trying to take over my life, that is a man i will keep dating for as long as this good feelings last!!!

 

i do not believe a woman should be virgin when she marries… i do not believe a woman should get engaged and suddenly move into a man’s house and live with for ever… i believe in sharing lives with people you think you can and try to live with for years before marrying or taking such steps… i’m a difficult woman to handle… very stubborn and such a pain… can’t relax sleeping next to someone in same bed easily… been married 2 times… been raised up and lived through different religions, culture and countries… i walk with finnish passport and a finnish name… so my kuwaiti part of family won’t be insulted with my view for life… i am NOT a muslim… i am NOT a christian… i am just a simple human who believes in her own believes and respect each one of you for yours… so if you are a woman who says you are 1/2 arab and 1/2 non arab and believe a woman should be a virgin i respect you for that… but in return you need to learn how to respect me for just being me… i do not advice any young girl from any religion or country to have sex or don’t have… as i said i believe in freedom of choice!!!

 

we are just human… how come you try to judge me, and expect me to judge you??? respect and love is all what there is that will keep peace in this world and can save it… war, hate, anger and human judgments will just bring destruction!!!!

August 25, 2010

now… how many friends do i have???

Filed under: BAHRAIN,CYPRUS,FINLAND,FRIENDS,LOVE,PERSONAL — by noracassandra @ 10:25 am

if you die with a hand full of friends… meaning; if you dies with 5 real friends… it means you have lived a good life! that is what my mum once told me!! but how many do you really have???

 

i know i have emmi, anne, ida, kia, denise and alaadin…. i know those 5 a real true friends… maybe few of them sometimes don’t ask for days, weeks or even months… i know some of them i had more than one up and down with them!!! but non of them ever gave me his/her back when i needed the mental support!!!

 

a friend is not the one that gives you 1000 euros just because he/she has the money… the friend is the one who says to you come for a walk and buys you coffee and maybe a salad or snack to share (knowing you can’t afford it) while listening to the things you need to say. without making you feel cheep and that you need to pay anything back… make you feel of their support without making you feel that they are feeling sorry for you…. and when your true friend goes through the hard times all he/she expects is the same from you!!!

 

a true friend will tell you that he/she hates your hair cut but doesn’t care about a stupid hair cut because it’s your friendship that he/she really loves more than anything else… a true friend will tell you that they are so jealous of a woman/man you have met and you like….. not because they feel jealous you found someone to have your head on her/his shoulder but because they worry you will not need the friendship between you two after starting this relationship or falling in love, but they wish you all the best in love and in life with this person!!

 

sadly you have to get your heart-broken by few you thought were true friends, but it’s ok, life goes on and don’t ever regret trying or trusting…. remember the good moment, good laughs, good advices and the love you had if don’t still have for that friend… wish him/her the best in life, smile when you see his/her picture, comments or anything that reminds you of him/her… and just knowing you learned a lesson from the untrue friend is good enough experience!

 

now… how many friends do i have??? hmmmm… i know for sure i have those 6… but do you know how many friends do you have??? i do think i am getting to find out few other true friends i have… as it seems ebrahim is one that seems to be added to the list… big j, ali and diennah are not bad either… but time will show who is a true friend…

August 23, 2010

i want my iida back!!! :-(

Filed under: BAHRAIN,FAMILY,FINLAND,MY DAUGHTER,PERSONAL,SAD — by noracassandra @ 1:14 pm

what a feeling… i know there were days where i wished i was free and didn’t have my daughter to strict me and my life… i wished i was free to travel and work what ever i feel like working where ever i wanted in this world!!! as a young girl my dream was to be a journalist that would find herself in war one day and another in africa reporting the poverty and it’s problems… one day in a sport event where i would have to report every detail… and one day in a natural disaster trying to show the world the help people need there…

but i had a daughter… iida is going to be 11 in 3 weeks and 5 days! took me few years to learn how to give up few dreams and few life choices i would have made if i didn’t have her!!! took me even longer to learn how to be a single mum and to understand it’s all on me and my responsibility to choose the way i see is the best for her!

i didn’t realize how much i loved her till she left for her summer holidays to finalnd. first time she was going to be away for over 15 days! she’s been away for over 10 weeks now! i can’t sleep some night… i need to get myself into exhausting stage so i could pass out and sleep… most of the time i’ll end up sleeping watching tv on the sofa… my neck has got to a really bad stage with this bad sleeping situation!! 😛

my daughter have saved my life more than once… she is my true guardian angel… i did realize how lost i am without her… she keeps me strong, she keeps me safe mentally, she keeps me company, she reminds me of my way in life and what i need to do… she makes me smile and she makes my heart go back to its normal beat when she comes and hugs me and tells me how much she loves me and reminds me that i am not a bad mother after all!

she should have come lest week… and still the tickets getting delayed and messed up as she is under 14 traveling alone from finland to bahrain and it’s seems really difficult to get it fixed!!!

i want my iida back!!! 😦 i don’t know what to do!

May 26, 2009

I AM A PROUD ½ KUWAITI

Filed under: FAMILY,FINLAND,KUWAIT,LOVE,PAST,PERSONAL — by noracassandra @ 7:31 am

Why do people deny their blood? Why they are not proud of the blood running deep inside of them??? Why a man comes to me with heavy Indian accent and when I ask him where is he from he says he’s from Barcelona? Why does a Bengali man say at last I’m going to my home country and when asked he says USA? When asked if he was born there he says no just moved there 3 years ago. Why when meeting a black man playing basketball and ask him so where are you from he says I’m from the states with this heavy African accent?? Why? Why is it when an Indian guy come to chat up my friend with his horrible (English wanna be) accent doesn’t simply say I am from Indian origin but I was walk the world with an English nationality?

I know why I denied my ½ blood! I was angry! I hated my dad! So I never wanted even to think of his blood that runs in me! For over 7 years I said I was ½ Finnish and ½ black (never made it clear what black) some days I was ½ English, some ½ African, and some ½ American! But never ½ Arab or Kuwaiti!

I am a proud ½ Kuwaiti! Yes I have my issues with my dad… yes I will never be friends with him! But I’m damn proud of my blood!!! My ½ blood come from a wonderful family! They are good people… ok no family is perfect with any issues… but they are good people! Yes true I do not believe in ½ of what they believe in, but who the hell I am to judge their believes??? They are a family that built them selves from scratch! Their money was not found in trees, but they worked their asses so hard to make it! They are smart people! Their children are doctors and all university graduates! They worked hard (or most of them did) to keep their family together! They are respectful and very well loved by other families! So you are damn right to get to hear me say I’m proud to carry their blood! Maybe I will never have contact except by very few of them… but I’m still proud of the rest of them!

True I walk the ground of this earth with my Finnish nationality that I’m so proud of… But that doesn’t make me deny or less proud of my ½ Kuwaiti blood!

So! Hello! My name is Nora Cassandra and I’m ½ Kuwaiti! 😀

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