i know i haven’t done this in years… posting 2 posts in less than 24 hours… but i had the urge to write this…
seems so many ended up talking about love in one way or the other in the past 24 hours… is love in the air??? and why everyone afraid of it???
true in most cases love is short… most love stories have an end… and usually it ends with a heart-break… but take off that broken-heart, take off the end and the pain… keep the good moments… amazing memories and ask yourself… were those good moments and memories worth you doing all you did… were those smiles you had worth allowing your heart to love and break again???
for me… i would say it would be worth everything!!! and you know why?? because it would have showed me i can still love, i can still feel young and naughty… it would have made me feel alive and made me feel that i’m a real woman with feelings and still know how to use them… and that is worth getting my heart-broken for!!! so i will do it again and again even if a broken heart has to come with my love story!!!
so??? would you love??? and would you love if you know your heart will be broken in the end of your love story???
what a feeling… i know there were days where i wished i was free and didn’t have my daughter to strict me and my life… i wished i was free to travel and work what ever i feel like working where ever i wanted in this world!!! as a young girl my dream was to be a journalist that would find herself in war one day and another in africa reporting the poverty and it’s problems… one day in a sport event where i would have to report every detail… and one day in a natural disaster trying to show the world the help people need there…
but i had a daughter… iida is going to be 11 in 3 weeks and 5 days! took me few years to learn how to give up few dreams and few life choices i would have made if i didn’t have her!!! took me even longer to learn how to be a single mum and to understand it’s all on me and my responsibility to choose the way i see is the best for her!
i didn’t realize how much i loved her till she left for her summer holidays to finalnd. first time she was going to be away for over 15 days! she’s been away for over 10 weeks now! i can’t sleep some night… i need to get myself into exhausting stage so i could pass out and sleep… most of the time i’ll end up sleeping watching tv on the sofa… my neck has got to a really bad stage with this bad sleeping situation!! 😛
my daughter have saved my life more than once… she is my true guardian angel… i did realize how lost i am without her… she keeps me strong, she keeps me safe mentally, she keeps me company, she reminds me of my way in life and what i need to do… she makes me smile and she makes my heart go back to its normal beat when she comes and hugs me and tells me how much she loves me and reminds me that i am not a bad mother after all!
she should have come lest week… and still the tickets getting delayed and messed up as she is under 14 traveling alone from finland to bahrain and it’s seems really difficult to get it fixed!!!
i want my iida back!!! 😦 i don’t know what to do!
been back to writing and i don’t mean writing here in my blog.. i actually started writing again from zero after loosing all what i wrote back 1,5 year ago in cyprus which made me so angry and with the hard life felt like giving up at least for some time!!!
i bought a new book i haven’t still read for paulo coelho who is my favorite writer!!! i’m reading the zahir… i was in a situation where i wasn’t sure should i take the arabic book to practice my arabic, but i ended up taking the english one just to feel bit safer i guess!!!
so writing, reading plus spending time with friends makes life so much easier… it seems i have a job interview coming up next few days so hoping that would go well!!! and my little iida is coming soon too so i think i will have a great week ahead!!! 🙂
i really want to cry… i don’t know why it’s so hard… i’m sending my cv around daily with no luck… friends are being so difficult to understand.. and i miss my baby girl!!!! if it wasn’t for dana and ali i think i would have just jumped off my apartment’s window!!!
when a good caring friend suddenly goes into a bad mood, doesn’t want to talk to you… but not just that he/she doesn’t want to talk to any one else not even the people he/she used to speak to daily bases… that scares me.
i keep worrying and thinking what’s wrong… yes i do understand that he/she needs time for his/herself and has all the right to have it. so i do not bother him/her with messages or phone calls giving him/ her the space and time alone needed… but maybe because i’m a person that has what ever is right or wrong in her life on the tip of her tongue and the whole world gets to know about it i do not fully understand that feeling what he/she is going through!
i do hope my friend will get out of it soon and find his/her heaven soon again as we miss him/her more than he/she can imagine!!!! 😦
love you!!! xxx
diennah… dana al salem… a lovely young lady i got to know in bahrain through my friends ahmed… talented young lady, actress, model and hostess… who loves rashe al majed!!! 😉 i will see more of her work by time as i’m sure.
this young lady is just 18, she’s been already modeling, acting and hosting many programs. she is so funny and very honest person in real life. off the screen i do think she is a wonderful person to hang out with. her friends are lucky to have someone like her as a friend, and meeting her mum explains a lot.
her mum herself is a wonderful woman, lady and a doctor. when sitting with her feels like sitting with a simple, but so educated and down to earth person. enjoyed talking to her even though it was just for a short while… sure more times will come up and will make me even more impressed!!!
back to young diennah… she can make me laugh and think a lot. a girl who i believe will have even brighter future a head of her… hoping everything goes right for her and all her dreams get to come true. hope to get to do the photo shoot with her soon!!!
another person and reason to love bahrain!!! 🙂