SHE WHO ENTANGLES MEN

August 31, 2010

would you love???

Filed under: FRIENDS,LOVE,PERSONAL,PLEASURES — by noracassandra @ 1:50 am

i know i haven’t done this in years… posting 2 posts in less than 24 hours… but i had the urge to write this…

 

seems so many ended up talking about love in one way or the other in the past 24 hours… is love in the air??? and why everyone afraid of it???

 

true in most cases love is short… most love stories have an end… and usually it ends with a heart-break… but take off that broken-heart, take off the end and the pain… keep the good moments… amazing memories and ask yourself… were those good moments and memories worth you doing all you did… were those smiles you had worth allowing your heart to love and break again???

 

for me… i would say it would be worth everything!!! and you know why?? because it would have showed me i can still love, i can still feel young and naughty… it would have made me feel alive and made me feel that i’m a real woman with feelings and still know how to use them… and that is worth getting my heart-broken for!!! so i will do it again and again even if a broken heart has to come with my love story!!!

 

so??? would you love??? and would you love if you know your heart will be broken in the end of your love story???

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August 30, 2010

don’t think it can’t happen, because it can…

Filed under: BAHRAIN,CYPRUS,FRIENDS,MY DAUGHTER,PAST,PERSONAL,SAD,STELIOS — by noracassandra @ 9:48 am

a person that has faith and trust people… even after every time i have got slapped by life or got my heart-broken… somehow i still get up and trust someone else in my life that usually helps me to get over the last pain by his/her words and in most cases that person been a friend nothing more…

 

last time my heart got broken was last winter… i had to stop the work in the cafe shop where i had to work over 12 hours/ 6 days for 15 euros a day… i was managing, waitering, cleaning, ordering and even checking stock…. and didn’t see my sweet daughter who stayed home alone every day. and when i did stop that meant no food… no food for me and iida. we had some pasta in the house and few bags of beans… that was all!!! but that was not the heart break, it was when i picked the phone and texted a man who promised to help if i needed any help in the winter… stelios who always was the nicest and a wonderful person knew i was alone with my girl, he was working for his father in the restaurant… our divorce was not final yet so legally he was still my husband… so yes… he broke my heart when i texted him and told him;

i never asked you for money and i will still not ask.. but i had to stop work in the cafe. and now me and iida have no food. i just was wondering if you could bring us sometimes food from the restaurant as the food is free for you there!

and guess what… the loving man i once knew… had no heart not even to answer and apologise or tell me he couldn’t!!! he just ignored! it’s ok i said to my self and we managed with boiled pasta and once a week some beans… and we are both strong women and can get over anything… and my friends in bahrain kept my heart smiling telling me how i have real friends here and how i will have better life! after sometime i said it’s ok… stelios is not a bad person. he is just in a new relationship and most probably his new woman doesn’t want him to be contacting his ex…

 

one of the friends from bahrain… actually the main one… who always kept telling me the right things… who always showed that he/she will be standing by my side as he/she is a true friend… we spoke, texted ever few weeks at least just to give me a boost and help me through some hard times!!! i came to bahrain to find him/her suddenly paying for so many things that made me so uncomfortable… and in my head i said he/she was just a friend and i will pay him/her back as soon as i’m settled and get to make my salary… then come the day where he/she says to me to get lost… i tried to understand why… did i do anything wrong??? the words were clear GET LOST… i said ok, maybe he/she needs his/her space so i backed off… but somehow it felt more personal, when i get news from other friends the he/she has been making contact with them… ok what did i do wrong… i know he/she keeps telling me i should change my hair and i look ugly with my hair and it’s too short and the colour is so wrong, but come on no real friend would want to stop talking to you because of your hairstyle!!! it’s just not possible!!! not in my experience and i had many including my best friend in the world EMMI… she never liked my clothes or sometimes my style in other things… and she made it clear and said it out loud then after some time hugged me and said but you know what i love you for you so i do not care how you look… after all she is my friend and doesn’t have to wake up in the morning to look at my style and face nor will she be having sex with me to bother if my style turns her on or no…. so why would a friend stop talking to me because of my hairstyle… i think as few other friends around us that it’s something else that has nothing to do with my hair style!

 

well he/she is a good person… and i wish him/her all the best in life… i will always love this person and always remember the good things he/she did for me, the good amazing laughs we had… great meals he introduced me to… i will always love this person just the way i love stelios… just the way i love many other people who broke my heart but i forgave them!!! and so… i forgive you… and i’ll always be bit sad for losing a friend and a person i love from my life, but don’t think it can’t happen, because it can and it happened to me!!!

August 27, 2010

i’m smiling today!!! :-)

Filed under: BAHRAIN,F1,FRIENDS,LOVE,MY DAUGHTER,PERSONAL,PLEASURES — by noracassandra @ 10:57 am

i’ll be seeing a good friend of mine that we have fallen out for sometime… this is what i was talking about real friends…. know you can fall out, have few downs but in the end of the day you will end up contacting each other to say how much you care about each other!!!! yeehhhhh i will see my friend after almost a year… i did miss her a lot!! 🙂
 
another good news… tickets were bought for my iida… she will be arriving on saturday 28.08… that is tomorrow… that is about 30 hours from now…i’m excited, happy and relaxed!!! 🙂
 
ali was here at my place to watch F1, P1 and that was nice having someone who has common interests with to share with me! i still think the commenter’s on abu dabi sport 2 are so hmmm… what is not a cursing word that could describe them…. STUPID… but i’m still happy to watch it on mute! 🙂

August 25, 2010

now… how many friends do i have???

Filed under: BAHRAIN,CYPRUS,FINLAND,FRIENDS,LOVE,PERSONAL — by noracassandra @ 10:25 am

if you die with a hand full of friends… meaning; if you dies with 5 real friends… it means you have lived a good life! that is what my mum once told me!! but how many do you really have???

 

i know i have emmi, anne, ida, kia, denise and alaadin…. i know those 5 a real true friends… maybe few of them sometimes don’t ask for days, weeks or even months… i know some of them i had more than one up and down with them!!! but non of them ever gave me his/her back when i needed the mental support!!!

 

a friend is not the one that gives you 1000 euros just because he/she has the money… the friend is the one who says to you come for a walk and buys you coffee and maybe a salad or snack to share (knowing you can’t afford it) while listening to the things you need to say. without making you feel cheep and that you need to pay anything back… make you feel of their support without making you feel that they are feeling sorry for you…. and when your true friend goes through the hard times all he/she expects is the same from you!!!

 

a true friend will tell you that he/she hates your hair cut but doesn’t care about a stupid hair cut because it’s your friendship that he/she really loves more than anything else… a true friend will tell you that they are so jealous of a woman/man you have met and you like….. not because they feel jealous you found someone to have your head on her/his shoulder but because they worry you will not need the friendship between you two after starting this relationship or falling in love, but they wish you all the best in love and in life with this person!!

 

sadly you have to get your heart-broken by few you thought were true friends, but it’s ok, life goes on and don’t ever regret trying or trusting…. remember the good moment, good laughs, good advices and the love you had if don’t still have for that friend… wish him/her the best in life, smile when you see his/her picture, comments or anything that reminds you of him/her… and just knowing you learned a lesson from the untrue friend is good enough experience!

 

now… how many friends do i have??? hmmmm… i know for sure i have those 6… but do you know how many friends do you have??? i do think i am getting to find out few other true friends i have… as it seems ebrahim is one that seems to be added to the list… big j, ali and diennah are not bad either… but time will show who is a true friend…

August 23, 2010

i want my iida back!!! :-(

Filed under: BAHRAIN,FAMILY,FINLAND,MY DAUGHTER,PERSONAL,SAD — by noracassandra @ 1:14 pm

what a feeling… i know there were days where i wished i was free and didn’t have my daughter to strict me and my life… i wished i was free to travel and work what ever i feel like working where ever i wanted in this world!!! as a young girl my dream was to be a journalist that would find herself in war one day and another in africa reporting the poverty and it’s problems… one day in a sport event where i would have to report every detail… and one day in a natural disaster trying to show the world the help people need there…

but i had a daughter… iida is going to be 11 in 3 weeks and 5 days! took me few years to learn how to give up few dreams and few life choices i would have made if i didn’t have her!!! took me even longer to learn how to be a single mum and to understand it’s all on me and my responsibility to choose the way i see is the best for her!

i didn’t realize how much i loved her till she left for her summer holidays to finalnd. first time she was going to be away for over 15 days! she’s been away for over 10 weeks now! i can’t sleep some night… i need to get myself into exhausting stage so i could pass out and sleep… most of the time i’ll end up sleeping watching tv on the sofa… my neck has got to a really bad stage with this bad sleeping situation!! 😛

my daughter have saved my life more than once… she is my true guardian angel… i did realize how lost i am without her… she keeps me strong, she keeps me safe mentally, she keeps me company, she reminds me of my way in life and what i need to do… she makes me smile and she makes my heart go back to its normal beat when she comes and hugs me and tells me how much she loves me and reminds me that i am not a bad mother after all!

she should have come lest week… and still the tickets getting delayed and messed up as she is under 14 traveling alone from finland to bahrain and it’s seems really difficult to get it fixed!!!

i want my iida back!!! 😦 i don’t know what to do!

August 15, 2010

i’m writing again! :-)

Filed under: BAHRAIN,CYPRUS,FRIENDS,MY DAUGHTER,PERSONAL,WORK — by noracassandra @ 1:01 am

been back to writing and i don’t mean writing here in my blog.. i actually started writing again from zero after loosing all what i wrote back 1,5 year ago in cyprus which made me so angry and with the hard life felt like giving up at least for some time!!!

i bought a new book i haven’t still read for paulo coelho who is my favorite writer!!! i’m reading the zahir… i was in a situation where i wasn’t sure should i take the arabic book to practice my arabic, but i ended up taking the english one just to feel bit safer i guess!!!

so writing, reading plus spending time with friends makes life so much easier… it seems i have a job interview coming up next few days so hoping that would go well!!! and my little iida is coming soon too so i think i will have a great week ahead!!! 🙂

August 12, 2010

my first day of ramadan in bahrain

Filed under: BAHRAIN,FOOD,FRIENDS,MY DAUGHTER,PERSONAL — by noracassandra @ 6:48 am

happy ramadan, or ramadan mubarak to all muslims in the world!
 
ramadan is here… and i’m in an arab country… wow… never thought that would happen! 😛 Ok haven’t seen anything yet, just got stuck at home on my first day watching all the ramadan programs and of course i had to watch Diennah in her role on the scope tv (apparently a kuwaiti channel i didn’t know about)… she was very good… better than i even expected! as i said then i will say now…. a talent that will just grow!
 
what’s the plan for today… send my cv to to at least one place i just got from a friend… and well meet up with Diennah and maybe see a director… and go out for a walk or coffee at least!!! 🙂 oh let’s not forget kerimo I have to watch kerimo!!!! 😛
 
i spoke to iida (my little angel) that put a smile on, and ali’s mum sent me some home made food that i think was the greatest meal i had in months… i’m going back to the left overs now that i remembered that food….

August 10, 2010

few hard days!! :’-(

Filed under: BAHRAIN,FRIENDS,PERSONAL,SAD — by noracassandra @ 2:44 pm

i really want to cry… i don’t know why it’s so hard… i’m sending my cv around daily with no luck… friends are being so difficult to understand.. and i miss my baby girl!!!! if it wasn’t for dana and ali i think i would have just jumped off my apartment’s window!!!

August 9, 2010

when a friend needs his/her space

Filed under: FRIENDS,LOVE,PERSONAL,SAD — by noracassandra @ 12:26 pm

when a good caring friend suddenly goes into a bad mood, doesn’t want to talk to you… but not just that he/she doesn’t want to  talk to any one else not even the people he/she used to speak to daily bases… that scares me.

i keep worrying and thinking what’s wrong… yes i do understand that he/she needs time for his/herself and has all the right to have it. so i do not bother him/her with messages or phone calls giving him/ her the space and time alone needed… but maybe because i’m a person that has what ever is right or wrong in her life on the tip of her tongue and the whole world gets to know about it i do not fully understand that feeling what he/she is going through!

i do hope my friend will get out of it soon and find his/her heaven soon again as we miss him/her more than he/she can imagine!!!! 😦

love you!!! xxx

August 8, 2010

a young lady called Dana Al Salem

Filed under: BAHRAIN,BEAUTY,FRIENDS — by noracassandra @ 12:25 pm

diennah… dana al salem… a lovely young lady i got to know in bahrain through my friends ahmed… talented young lady, actress, model and hostess… who loves rashe al majed!!! 😉 i will see more of her work by time as i’m sure.

this young lady is just 18, she’s been already modeling, acting and hosting many programs. she is so funny and very honest person in real life. off the screen i do think she is a wonderful person to hang out with. her friends are lucky to have someone like her as a friend, and meeting her mum explains a lot.

her mum herself is a wonderful woman, lady and a doctor. when sitting with her feels like sitting with a simple, but so educated and down to earth person. enjoyed talking to her even though it was just for a short while… sure more times will come up and will make me even more impressed!!!

back to young diennah… she can make me laugh and think a lot. a girl who i believe will have even brighter future a head of her… hoping everything goes right for her and all her dreams get to come true. hope to get to do the photo shoot with her soon!!!

another person and reason to love bahrain!!! 🙂

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