May 22, 2008


Filed under: FRIENDS,KUWAIT,MY DAUGHTER,PERSONAL — by noracassandra @ 6:57 pm

Ok people… first of all… I really don’t want you to take this personally, nor think I am trying to attack your believes or religion… remember ½ of my family are muslims and I love them truly!
I had a big fight with a friend today! He was telling about how he is happy as he is a muslim, and how I’m not happy because I’m a free spirited woman who is non muslim!!!
First thing came one was how happy I will be when my daughter decides to have sex… now my daughter is 8… she will always be a baby in my eyes… I will not even be able to imagine her having a husband and children… but it’s a fact she will grow up! Now I said I can’t stop her as I believe she has the full freedom and right to do what she wants after an age (here it’s 16-18)… he said so you’ll be ok if she has sex with a man that is his age (now he is 37 so by then it would be 45-47)… now I said no I will not be happy, but I can’t force her not to… and as I learned from my mother I am allowed to tell her I’m not happy about it, but if she is happy, then I am happy that she is happy!!! (now here he says I’m living an unhappy life because I can’t force my daughter to not to do what makes me unhappy)…
Later on he talks about islam and marrying other women… with my respect I did study islam and the woman has to know when he will do that and marry some one else while she is still his wife!!! Right??? Well here her agreed and said his wife is ok with it… now here when I said so you trying to convince me your wife is happy that you are having sex with another woman??? He said yes! Now he got angry when I told him there is no woman on earth that is happy that her husband is with someone else!!! Not even a sick woman that can’t give pleasure to her husband… she will still feel bitter and sad that he had to go with someone else!!!! And as I told him that (ok I was also using dirty words and he going and ******* another woman’s ***** and then coming home to put his **** in her *****)… so it was more of a fight!!!!
Now my question is… you as a man do you really believe your wife is happy (even when says ok you can get married to another) when you are sleeping with another woman????
And you woman… leave the religion aside and tell me the truth… will you be happy if your husband did that???
It might be just me that can’t see how a woman is happy when she is not allowed to complain and I am un happy because I have the freedom of choice and walking out with ½ of the house, car and everything else as well as kids will belong fully to me and he’ll have visiting rights if he ever touched another woman!!!
Please remember i’m NOT talking about islam… but about happiness in one subject!!!



  1. I’d like to know from women whose husband has more than one wife, that how do you deal with that? Don’t you think you have the right to have more than one husbad too? And if you don’t think so, why is that? I hope there are women reading this blog who are in this situtation because I’m really curious about this.

    Comment by Emmi — May 23, 2008 @ 1:45 pm |Reply

  2. i was not sure about how the whole thing started or where did it end, but i feel a lot of anger in that conversation!it is obvious in your writing lady,….!
    not to drift away, the answer, and any normal answer would be,NO woman would like her husband to sleep with another one, no matter what ever was the reason, and i might stress this answer for both gender,….!! and composite on that, she want be happy at all. for that certain and particular situation happened with your male friend.

    this is my answer to your question, and I’d like to add (clarification )if I’m allowed!!!!

    yet, what Islam got to do with it!!!!!!!, Islam in one hand allows men (not obligate them)under certain situation to marry another woman, and didn’t say women will be happy for that,….nor men. it got nothing to do with being happy or not?!!!! it is a matter of allowing and not allowing, exactly like allowing to eat anything from the see, this does not mean we eat everything in the sea!!!!Muslims are not savages nor they lack understanding, and this is very clear to those who read much about Islam, contrary to what sister EMMI said above, she tried to give us “an eye for an eye” is a justifiable answer , where things are much more complicated, and both gender have different abilities and different tasks to do, yet they share the same configuration and mold, what women got not necessary men should get (pregnancy as an example) and vice versa and so on and so forth,….!!! a word on Emmi’s ear: to understand anything you should start from the beginning, not the near end!!!!!!!!!!


    Comment by Mohammed Alficker — May 24, 2008 @ 1:10 am |Reply

  3. I didn’t mean that eye for an eye is an answer. It is not. It will lead to a destruction. But everybody should have equal rights, not talking about biology. That is something we cannot change or even should try to change.

    Comment by Emmi — May 24, 2008 @ 5:49 am |Reply

  4. it is very clear point Emmi!
    biology is still one side that Islam also care about when talking about humans rights and obligations!

    what all women fear of Islam, is that point particularly, as it is underestimating the value of women and degrading their position in the society! where the fact it much counter to that and distance away from it! you just choose one (non bias)book, and read on your own, not for me, not for any body’s sake but yours, and get your own believes after that, …but not until that moment!

    saying so, i don’t want to aggravate you or making a kind of a challenge, or hustle act of some kind, I’m only trying to say, it is better to read , to GET your own answers, than laying questions here and their without knowing what to expect for an answer, and would you really accept the answer if you had it written here!!!! i don’t think so EMMI… !!
    PS: by the way, you didn’t answer the question of noracassandra about happiness, and we both write on her own blog!! :):)

    thanks! and sorry for taking too long!

    Comment by Mohammed Alficker — May 24, 2008 @ 10:52 pm |Reply

  5. Mohammed; i know emmi’s view of the happiness as she is in real life my best friend ever!!! i would tell you what she thinks! she thinks no woman or man could be ever happy truly happy if their partner is having sex with some else!

    but i wish if you would answer… imagine the rules and 7alal & 7aram were reversed… and it was women who were allowed to have another partner and not men… will you be happy even if it is 7alal if your woman was sleeping with someone else??? as that is emmi’s question here!

    Emmi; i know it’s bit hard to understand why things are and rules are as they as they are in islam… i’m not muslim for the same reason’s i think as you’re not… things just seem wrong for me… but i did study the religion longer so i kind of understand somethings bit more than you do! i don’t know that book mohammed is talking about, but it might be a good book that get some light on things! go for it girl… you know i write, but almost never read any books! 😛 oh and i miss you girl and can’t wait till september!!!! kisses…

    Comment by noracassandra — May 30, 2008 @ 3:52 am |Reply

  6. (((but i wish if you would answer…))))!!!! i did girl :), you didn’t notice, it is there on the top?!!!

    Nora, I’d rather here Emmi’s point view, i know yours already!and obviously you didn’t read too :):):)…!!!!!
    and i wonder, why young people like you are ready to read anything, some crack head( actor, con politician, mistress of some president,and wasteful junkie singer) biography, that is not related to you in anyway, and remotely interested to our live, and yet, you’d feel so lazy to read about something trigger million questions in your head!!!!

    anyway, my answer was, NO woman would be happy if that situation happened what ever were the reasons( Islamic reasons – 7alal – 7aram – non Islamic reasons) nobody like to share a spouse with others,!!!!!

    there is no need to calm the situation down, because i like what you write girl, you say what we like to hear sometimes, and it is a discussion as i remember not a fight!


    Comment by mohammed alficker — June 2, 2008 @ 11:15 pm |Reply

  7. ok dear mo; i will tell her to check the post again and answer you! even though i know her answer! about reading a book… i don’t read biographies, not anything else… i can’t read books! nothing over 1-3 pages in too long for me to be able to concentrate in! i write, but i don’t read… it does sound funny!! 😛 well mo… thank you so much!!!! 😀 d i know you from somewhere?? i’m not sure who you are?? 🙂

    Comment by noracassandra — June 3, 2008 @ 3:47 am |Reply

  8. Dear Mohammed,

    I didn’t see your comment here before even though I visited the page, that is why it took so long to answer.

    First of all, Nora asked are women happy if the husband is sleeping with other women. And that is what I asked too. I don’t usually write to any blogs because I am not good at expressing myself the way I want. I didn’t know that I have to answer to questions if I write to somebody’s blog. I thought I can also ask questions..isn’t that so?

    Well you wanted my answer and here it comes: Of course I won’t be happy with that. Never ever would I stay with a man who would do that. I don’t even start to write why…I guess it’s quite obvious.

    As Nora said before that she doesn’t read books. I do, but I’m lousy in writing. That’s why I leave the comments short. I have read those kind of books you mentioned but I also studied a little bit of islam, not much, just little. I don’t like to read factual books because I lack of concentration too, just like Nora.

    Quote “it is better to read , to GET your own answers, than laying questions here and their without knowing what to expect for an answer, and would you really accept the answer if you had it written here!!!! i don’t think so EMMI… !!” What do you mean by I don’t think so Emmi?

    Why it is better to read than ask questions? Why is a written text more reliable than a word? Aren’t the questions asked because you want to have the answer? Why to ask if you already have the answer?

    Anyway, I have to get back to work now, we have a situation on.

    Oh, one more thing. I didn’t mention islam in my first email so that had nothing to do with islam so I don’ want to judged that I don’t know about islam if I didn’t even talk about it. And half of my family are arab-muslims by the way…

    Love and peace, Emmi

    Comment by Emmi — June 3, 2008 @ 11:09 am |Reply

  9. well,…
    thanks for being so gentle with me and so polite, i feel like a crazy guy trying to enforce his ideas & thoughts, just like those guys dressed (rapped)in white and people surrounding him are trying to calm him down,….!!! it is just a thought crossed my mind :):)

    well you bought me on face book 3 times, i don’t know if you consider that as knowing me, but i was interested in you, and your site link was written underneath your photo, so what i did; i checked your site, and OH MY GOD you know &like about formula 1, something i didn’t miss since 1990,not even once,… yeah that long ,…i know :):)
    later on i checked things you write in your blog….. and here we got!!! thats it

    EMMI, i really think you are a very intellectual person, it is very obvious in your words, you don’t need to express your self more, very clear and sound.

    and by the way, i didn’t see my own comment in the blog, somehow, it didn’t show till two drays later, …!

    the answers to your questions could take very long time and a philosophical prospective we are in needn’t of as long as it is irrelevant to the main issue,….hope you agree!

    i know you didn’t mention Islam in anyway, but the guy Nora talked about did, thats why i said what Islam got to do with it>>>>> this sound like a song I’ve heard long ago 🙂

    anyway, in the westren world Islam is correlated with two things, osama bin laden for men, and four wives for women!!!!

    just joking!!!!

    have a nice day

    Comment by mohammed alficker — June 3, 2008 @ 10:05 pm |Reply

  10. well emmi, hope you are ok as i see no misunderstandings here! :**

    mo; for some strange reason your comments were sent to spam and i had to save them! 😛 seems buying people on facebook is not so bad game after all! 😛 just joking… thanks dear for the lovely comments you leave for me.. yes… it seems i do like F1 just a little!! 😛 and as emmi and me are both 1/2 arabs… and our fathers’ families are muslims we don’t look at islam as bin laden and 4 wives…

    and trully this post was about why people try to convince me i’m not happy for being a non muslim, and i try to say happiness has nothing to do with your religion… there are happy and sad and upset people in all religions!!! 😉

    Comment by noracassandra — June 4, 2008 @ 4:13 pm |Reply

  11. If she knows that I’m sleeping with another woman then I don’t think that she would feel happy for that unless she won’t. Happiness is freedom. No one is happy unless freed.


    Comment by Self Improvement Advice — June 5, 2008 @ 6:29 am |Reply

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