April 13, 2007


Filed under: LOVE — by noracassandra @ 5:26 pm

I wrote this post because something I read in Baroque blog Eucalypt

Love is such a beautiful word! We all want to experience it! We all dream about it endless nights! But what do we really know about it?Did you know there was an addiction called LOVE ADDICTION? It’s told that it is a less serious illness than for example the sex addiction. But did you know that many suicides, murders, stalkings, rapes and other crimes of passion are related to the Love Addiction?The worst thing in my opinion is that we are overvalued to it in every culture! How many stories did you hear saying they fell in love and lived happily ever after? See Romeo and Juliet as an example – not a very happy ending, huh?

People often don’t realize the dangerous gravity of the situation. Love addiction is no amusing matter to the addicted person or their partner. A person who is excessively emotionally involved to another person possibly carried those habits over from past relationships. The conditions in such past relationships left the person feeling imperfect or mentally and/or physically abused. Romantic relationships are not the only type that causes such habits to build on; they can also stem from any of the following: lack of nurturing or attention during childhood, isolation or detachment from family, hidden pain, early abandonment, unrecognized early needs, fears of rejection, pain, and lack of love or hope.

A love addict has a fear of change. They will attach themselves to another person as to obtain that person’s identity for themselves. Having a very low self-esteem and lacking self-identity, the person chooses a mate or friend they would like to become. As I mentioned earlier crimes of passion, murder, suicides, and stalking, bloom out of these relationships. When a person tries to break up with a love addict, the situation becomes very intense and could result in stalking. The break-up adds to the addicts already overloaded emotional system. The love addict is not afraid to be as outlandish in actions as possible.

Love Addiction – The Characteristics

The following are some of the obvious traits of this addiction:

  • Is unable to trust in relationships
  • Has an inner rage over lack of nurturing in childhood

  • Battles with depression

  • Tolerates high-risk behavior

  • Has other addictive or compulsive behaviors

  • Questions values and life all the time

  • Has a frantic personality

  • Denies problems

  • Confuses wants as needs

  • Replaces ended relationships immediately

  • Jumps from one relationship to another

  • Always needs to love, can’t stay single for long period of time

  • As with any addictive behavior, a person who is addicted to love can have hope that they will recover. But how can this recovery occur? What hope can a person rely on that will see them through their love addiction?

    1. Have to Want It – Just as with any addiction, you first have to want to be free from your controlling substance or behavior. Recovery will require patience and fortitude that you may not have on your own. Thankfully, there are professional counselors and programs available to you that can lend you their strength when you feel as through you have none. With their help, recovery is more than possible.

    2. Get the Help – Love addiction recovery is just what it says: recovering from an addiction. In other words, it’s serious business. It requires the addict to adhere to certain guidelines in order to break free of destructive behavior. Again, counselors can walk you through this process step by step and be there for you as a tower of strength and support.

    So do you look at love the same way now?



  1. i dont want love. I refuse to have anything to do with it!

    Comment by cixousianpanic — April 13, 2007 @ 6:38 pm |Reply

  2. WTF….!!!!

    Comment by UP-URS — April 13, 2007 @ 7:59 pm |Reply

  3. Cixousianpanic: Why you don’t want to love? If you love it doesn’t mean you’re a love addict! 😉

    UP-URS: Why silly?? It’s a problem that many have! It’s really not nice of some one to be mucking others even if you think it’s silly!

    Comment by noracassandra — April 13, 2007 @ 8:07 pm |Reply

  4. I’m in love but definitely i’m not an addict!

    Comment by rieaane — April 14, 2007 @ 5:46 am |Reply

  5. I certainly see the differnce. Nora-Cassandra, have you noticed that people, films, books and poetry always redefine love? It’s so ambiguous to us to this day, people claim it’s something big and hard to define. Yet, this entry is fabulous. I enjoyed reading it. Did you study psyhcology or something.

    Gr8 post.

    Comment by Captain Obvious — April 14, 2007 @ 6:58 pm |Reply

  6. Rieaane: lol!! That’s good! 😉

    Captain Obvious: I wasn’t defining love! I was explaining love addiction! Love and love addiction are totally different things! 😉

    Comment by noracassandra — April 14, 2007 @ 8:00 pm |Reply

  7. Oh. Well! LOL.. Oops :p

    Comment by Captain Obvious — April 14, 2007 @ 8:05 pm |Reply

  8. Captain Obvious: That’s cool! I’m happy that you read my post! Don’t let me scare you of love! It’s beautiful!! 😉

    Comment by noracassandra — April 14, 2007 @ 8:14 pm |Reply

  9. Ok 🙂

    Comment by Ruby Redux — April 22, 2007 @ 10:08 pm |Reply

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