If this year is really bringing destruction, disasters and even the end of the world this is what I have to say.
I’m turning 34 this year.
I have a daughter that is healthy (enough), 3rd in her class even if it is first ever time for her studying in English and has missed a whole year before this, who speaks reads and writes 3 +1/2 (starting French) languages… Who is a wonderful young lady who helped me so much throughout her 12 years (13 this years)… Who I can speak to as a friend, as a daughter and as (my care taker) Sometimes, ex; when I’m sick.
I have found a man who I love so much. Who makes me feel like a little girl, like a woman, friend, wife and lover all at the same time! A man who makes me to get over my stress (which who ever knows me knows it’s impossible mission)… A man who finds the way to make me smile even when I’m getting my period (worst time of the month to talk to me)… A man who still can make me feel beautiful even when I have a bloated stomach (health problem I suffer from regularly)… A man who I can spend hours talking to with him listening to me and sharing opinions without trying to force his opinion on mine!
I have friends all around the world who actually love me and I love them. Friends that I do not have to ask daily or weekly about but when I need them they are there for me, and when they need me I’m there for them! They might not be more than 15 all together maybe not even 10… But they are real ones!
I have a family… maybe scattered in many countries, but I have family that I dearly love… Some talking to me some not (for past mistakes) but still I love them all. I have a mother that makes all the pain go away with a kiss. I have amazing brothers and sisters who all have grown up to be amazing adults that I am so proud of. I have a father that I hurt a lot for past reasons that I have asked for his forgiveness for the pain I caused him and tried to explain to him the reasons of the pain and anger towards him… That father might not be talking to me but I wish him all the happiness and health! And let’s not forget the rest of my family that always make me feel happy to hear from.
I have a job that I LOVE… I have been called actually a workaholic today. But I can’t help loving what I’m doing and of course the owner of this company is a man if ever needs a kidney I would take one out of me to give him as I think that man I owe him my life!
I have a long past that is full of action, pain, fun, sadness and happiness… Things I did wrong and said I was sorry for. And wrong things happened to me, which I have forgiven!
If this is the end of the world… I will leave this world sad for missing all these great things, but I have to admit I will leave with a smile that God has blessed me a wonderful life and great happiness!
Thank you GOD!
so this is to some people who are new to my blog…
my first name is nora cassandra… i was born in finland september 1978… my mum is practically an atheist and some moments i think she believes if there was a god then it’s a woman… her mother (or family) are christian lutherans. my dad has introduced himself with many religions, one was chritianity when met my mum another is science and last i knew about was a muslim sheat… my dad’s family are sheat muslims… i was also baptised in a greek orthodox church before marrying my second husband…
i was raised for my first 7 years in finalnd… churches was somewhere i visited very often with my grandmother… so yes i did grow up thinking god’s name is jesus!!!! and it was also where i was taught women have rights and so does children and animals!!! then after i was kidnapped by my dad… i was beaten up for over 6 years to pray a prayer and do things without being convinced about them… i still have bruises at my age to remind me… and my dad’s family, when i became a teenager and after years of trying to do what they want me to do just to get their love… rejected me. i was called names behind my back as the christian’s daughter… not original… and of course the worst of all (my dad’s name)’s daughter!!!! at the age of 15 i knew i was and will never be a muslim… with all my respect to my muslim family they were never able to convince me… and with all my respect to my sunnat muslim teachers, they never were able to convince me either!!!
i was into cars, motorbikes, sports, politics but not shopping nor love… i was a man who was in a woman’s, body… but i wasn’t into girls and don’t think will ever be… so i’m straight!!! it was just that kuwaiti women were not kind of women i would get along with… so i hanged out with guys… never had sex nor real boyfriend with sexual relation… max i did was kissing but even that didn’t feel much so never was in love in my teenage years… so i wasn’t a bad girl not even if you go through islamic or any religion’s (laws)… i just liked things boys liked and was accepted by them as one of them!!!
i was very angry young woman… but i still believed that i had rights to choose my life and my actions just as i remembered i had the right in finalnd… i had my first sexual relationship when i was 20… i had real intercourse… i do not regret it and still would do it again with the same guy… no i was not in love with him, but we had such a connection that it felt right!!! months after that got married to a sunni muslim (not the man i had sex with) at the age of 20, what do we really know about love… i just wanted to get out of my dad’s house and away from a family that hates me because i’m different!! but sadly it didn’t work out… as i was alone in kuwait no family except a husband that we fell out of love in few months… i had no one!!!
i went to finalnd… in finalnd at first i was trying to do what ever my mum wanted me to do or i thought she wanted me to do… that what all the hate and beating in kuwait taught me… you should act and behave in the way people want you to do so you would be loved… but soon after i realized my mum was nothing like that!!!!
i could be a jew, muslim, christian, atheist or even a satanist as long as she cared… she just wanted to see me happy… came a day where i was dating tony… my big love and heartbreak… she did not like him at all.. well he was a dealer and a looser but i still fell for him… she said to me she didn’t like him and wishes i would see that he is no good for me, but in the end of the conversation she said nora cassandra, i love you and you are an adult… i will love you if you date the devil himself as much as i will love you dating a saint… nothing will change my love to you!!!
another thing she always reminded me with is that i’m a woman… i need men for one thing only in my life as a young lady… i need them for sex only… i do not need one to take care of me… i do not need a man to have kids as i have my daughter… i do not need them to make me feel safe as i can do all that myself… so when i meet a man i like a lot, feel comfortable to spend my time with, share my empty space with, sleep next to regularly, enjoy sex every time, and he is not trying to take over my life, that is a man i will keep dating for as long as this good feelings last!!!
i do not believe a woman should be virgin when she marries… i do not believe a woman should get engaged and suddenly move into a man’s house and live with for ever… i believe in sharing lives with people you think you can and try to live with for years before marrying or taking such steps… i’m a difficult woman to handle… very stubborn and such a pain… can’t relax sleeping next to someone in same bed easily… been married 2 times… been raised up and lived through different religions, culture and countries… i walk with finnish passport and a finnish name… so my kuwaiti part of family won’t be insulted with my view for life… i am NOT a muslim… i am NOT a christian… i am just a simple human who believes in her own believes and respect each one of you for yours… so if you are a woman who says you are 1/2 arab and 1/2 non arab and believe a woman should be a virgin i respect you for that… but in return you need to learn how to respect me for just being me… i do not advice any young girl from any religion or country to have sex or don’t have… as i said i believe in freedom of choice!!!
we are just human… how come you try to judge me, and expect me to judge you??? respect and love is all what there is that will keep peace in this world and can save it… war, hate, anger and human judgments will just bring destruction!!!!
I have been through a car accident!!! My neck is hurt and so are my shoulders!!!
What pisses me off… how come when someone stops suddenly in front of you then give a single that he/she will be turning and because of that you end up crashing to them… and that considered your fault!!!! Same with the motorbike accident I was in over 11 years ago… I mean we were driving on the fast lain… and this slow care from the second lane (no cars in front of him) decides he would like to try our lane… so we crash into him and it ends up our fault as we hit him from behind!!!!
It’s unfair!!! :’-(