If this year is really bringing destruction, disasters and even the end of the world this is what I have to say.
I’m turning 34 this year.
I have a daughter that is healthy (enough), 3rd in her class even if it is first ever time for her studying in English and has missed a whole year before this, who speaks reads and writes 3 +1/2 (starting French) languages… Who is a wonderful young lady who helped me so much throughout her 12 years (13 this years)… Who I can speak to as a friend, as a daughter and as (my care taker) Sometimes, ex; when I’m sick.
I have found a man who I love so much. Who makes me feel like a little girl, like a woman, friend, wife and lover all at the same time! A man who makes me to get over my stress (which who ever knows me knows it’s impossible mission)… A man who finds the way to make me smile even when I’m getting my period (worst time of the month to talk to me)… A man who still can make me feel beautiful even when I have a bloated stomach (health problem I suffer from regularly)… A man who I can spend hours talking to with him listening to me and sharing opinions without trying to force his opinion on mine!
I have friends all around the world who actually love me and I love them. Friends that I do not have to ask daily or weekly about but when I need them they are there for me, and when they need me I’m there for them! They might not be more than 15 all together maybe not even 10… But they are real ones!
I have a family… maybe scattered in many countries, but I have family that I dearly love… Some talking to me some not (for past mistakes) but still I love them all. I have a mother that makes all the pain go away with a kiss. I have amazing brothers and sisters who all have grown up to be amazing adults that I am so proud of. I have a father that I hurt a lot for past reasons that I have asked for his forgiveness for the pain I caused him and tried to explain to him the reasons of the pain and anger towards him… That father might not be talking to me but I wish him all the happiness and health! And let’s not forget the rest of my family that always make me feel happy to hear from.
I have a job that I LOVE… I have been called actually a workaholic today. But I can’t help loving what I’m doing and of course the owner of this company is a man if ever needs a kidney I would take one out of me to give him as I think that man I owe him my life!
I have a long past that is full of action, pain, fun, sadness and happiness… Things I did wrong and said I was sorry for. And wrong things happened to me, which I have forgiven!
If this is the end of the world… I will leave this world sad for missing all these great things, but I have to admit I will leave with a smile that God has blessed me a wonderful life and great happiness!
Thank you GOD!
My heart was beating so fast. I wasn’t sure why. So excited all morning! I couldn’t concentrate at work! I don’t know what was coming into me! I was sweating and any one who knows me personally knows how hard it is to get me to sweat! But my ends were still cold! I was not sure if I was feeling cold or hot! My eyes were going around in my head. As if they were looking for something! But nothing! I did not find anything I was looking for! My stomach was starting to hurt and rumble!
Time was getting closer. I kept looking at the time waiting for 4:25. That was the time when his plain was landing! But why is time going so slow????? It was making me so upset! I just want that plain on the ground in Bahrain!
Left work at 3pm (15:00), as my head couldn’t handle anything or think of anything anymore! I couldn’t keep myself busy with work or anything else! Not even with facebook! I kept just looking at the time and doing my count down!
I was at the airport 4:10pm (16:10). I was so early and Jack’s advice was come home, leave the car and let’s go all together when I called him to complain about the parking, which was totally full! But I said that I couldn’t! I can’t leave the airport before seeing him walk out that gate, I thought to myself! So I found a parking place in the end of the world, it felt, but at least it was a parking spot and I couldn’t care less for walking the distance!
And so, I stood there waiting! It showed in the landing schedule that the airplane was 5 min late. It made my heart pound! Why??? I do not want him 1 min late! So I stood there. Waiting! Looking at people saying hellos and hugging, I saw a little young girl that is not even 10 years old hugging some ladies as soon as she was out of the gate and started crying. I saw a young man coming out and going straight through the women who were clearly waiting for him to pass them straight to the old man behind them to kiss him on his forehead and hold his hand and place a kiss on it too. The old man’s eyes shined. I guess they were full of tears! It was a beautiful scene that I just see only usually in movies or read in stories! Never thought I will see it there! It was very touching!
After seeing all those heart touching moments I saw in front of me, I realized those feeling I was feeling all day were natural! When waiting for a person you miss so much. Some one… (I guess I can say love.) I was happy to see Jacks and Iida next to me suddenly, they made bit fun of my messed up emotions and me. They had their laughs and it was time for me to just wait so maybe I could find a hint of his smell before he comes out of that gate! Then suddenly I saw him, my heart was beating so fast and I just wanted to run, but Jacks’ advice that I should control myself in public was keeping me still! I saw Iida running to hug him, I was jealous… I wanted to be the first to touch his skin and feel his hug right after walking out that gate! But true, she is a kid, and lucky her she can run to him and fill his face with kisses and body with hugs and no one can tell her a word! But I could see his eyes were fixed on me even when he was hugging her and kissing her! He walked to me with fast steps! He kissed me then gave me a hug. My face ended up right on his shoulder (specially with the 10cm heals I was wearing). My eyes got filled with tears and I didn’t want to let go! I told him not to ever leave me for such a long time ever again! He looked at me and smiled and answered: I do not want to ever leave you and be alone to go to anywhere for this long period myself ever again. Then took few steps to the back to start saying hi to Jacks and to Ahmed.
Last night I slept well! But I still feel like laying in his arms and not move just to make love again and again and go back to sleep again.