July 2, 2011
January 14, 2011
So… I know it’s been such a long time since I wrote something. A lot has happened. Not sure where to start from, but I’ll try to fill up some gaps in what I have not posted.
Ali Dadi has been chosen to race for Chevrolet Supercars Championship in the (SC06) category. And he will have his first debut in Riyadh at the Reem International Circuit on Wednesday and Thursday (19th & 20th of January).
I got paid my first ever salary in Bahrain… it was little but it made me pay off the rent…
I found a new apartment… 3 bedrooms, kitchen and living room… Same price and much closer to all my friends so I am moving by 1st of February.
I had a lovely Xmas and a great new year… No big parties but just small ones with people I love a lot.
I love BIC. Oh well this is not new but I had to say it… I just love that place and been spending time in helping there… Saw the Pirelli F1 testing last week there… Attended few events there… Even enjoying barbeques… Also seems to be spending a lot of time in race-control, and safety car in those events! YEEEHHHH I love it!
So when a STUPID SPOILED KUWAITI girls tried today to not let us in because some Kuwaiti girls having some kind of racing thing got me totally pissed off!!! Ok true I am Kuwaiti and proud of it, but who the hell do some of those Kuwaiti people think they are going to places and think they own them!!!??? Who the hell do they think they are when they sent some guy to ask us to close our garage door where we were working so we won’t get to see those spoiled asses plying race day??!!! We did get in… And we were not interested in seeing some girls with full make up trying to make a show of being racing heroes… We had much more important thing that needed to be done there in our garages… And we had fun! So I’m not pissed any more at them and I forgive them… Actually took me less than an hour not get over my anger but had to mention it!!
I guess these are few of my updates… Love you all! :-*
November 2, 2010
i met a writer. Mr. Nabhan. amazing personality. that made me remember suddenly who i was. what exactly my passion in life was all about! ALI DADI joined me in my meeting. he himself was amazed of Mr. Nabhan’s personality! he actually got ALI DADI thinking of reading! now i am so glad he started thinking of reading… that will get me back to reading even more… so reading and writing is back in my system… thank you Mr. Nabhan.
Kuwait Riders…… amazing group… met them at last in real life. they made me so proud being a Kuwaiti! amazing art work, amazing personalities… i did enjoy their visit and participation in the Bahrain Bike Week that took place last week! glad to see my friends winning trophies and going back home with good memories!
another person i met was from a company called azadea. she was amazing! she said my eyes shined when i spoke about arts and writing… she said maybe i should consider giving it more time! she said true you are good in your job as a sales woman but she also said that she thought i was wasting time and energy in something that doesn’t make my heart beat and my eyes shine!!!
so i guess… writing, riding, reading and hunting for a new job is in my program as all signs last week showed me!
September 15, 2010
so this is to some people who are new to my blog…
my first name is nora cassandra… i was born in finland september 1978… my mum is practically an atheist and some moments i think she believes if there was a god then it’s a woman… her mother (or family) are christian lutherans. my dad has introduced himself with many religions, one was chritianity when met my mum another is science and last i knew about was a muslim sheat… my dad’s family are sheat muslims… i was also baptised in a greek orthodox church before marrying my second husband…
i was raised for my first 7 years in finalnd… churches was somewhere i visited very often with my grandmother… so yes i did grow up thinking god’s name is jesus!!!! and it was also where i was taught women have rights and so does children and animals!!! then after i was kidnapped by my dad… i was beaten up for over 6 years to pray a prayer and do things without being convinced about them… i still have bruises at my age to remind me… and my dad’s family, when i became a teenager and after years of trying to do what they want me to do just to get their love… rejected me. i was called names behind my back as the christian’s daughter… not original… and of course the worst of all (my dad’s name)’s daughter!!!! at the age of 15 i knew i was and will never be a muslim… with all my respect to my muslim family they were never able to convince me… and with all my respect to my sunnat muslim teachers, they never were able to convince me either!!!
i was into cars, motorbikes, sports, politics but not shopping nor love… i was a man who was in a woman’s, body… but i wasn’t into girls and don’t think will ever be… so i’m straight!!! it was just that kuwaiti women were not kind of women i would get along with… so i hanged out with guys… never had sex nor real boyfriend with sexual relation… max i did was kissing but even that didn’t feel much so never was in love in my teenage years… so i wasn’t a bad girl not even if you go through islamic or any religion’s (laws)… i just liked things boys liked and was accepted by them as one of them!!!
i was very angry young woman… but i still believed that i had rights to choose my life and my actions just as i remembered i had the right in finalnd… i had my first sexual relationship when i was 20… i had real intercourse… i do not regret it and still would do it again with the same guy… no i was not in love with him, but we had such a connection that it felt right!!! months after that got married to a sunni muslim (not the man i had sex with) at the age of 20, what do we really know about love… i just wanted to get out of my dad’s house and away from a family that hates me because i’m different!! but sadly it didn’t work out… as i was alone in kuwait no family except a husband that we fell out of love in few months… i had no one!!!
i went to finalnd… in finalnd at first i was trying to do what ever my mum wanted me to do or i thought she wanted me to do… that what all the hate and beating in kuwait taught me… you should act and behave in the way people want you to do so you would be loved… but soon after i realized my mum was nothing like that!!!!
i could be a jew, muslim, christian, atheist or even a satanist as long as she cared… she just wanted to see me happy… came a day where i was dating tony… my big love and heartbreak… she did not like him at all.. well he was a dealer and a looser but i still fell for him… she said to me she didn’t like him and wishes i would see that he is no good for me, but in the end of the conversation she said nora cassandra, i love you and you are an adult… i will love you if you date the devil himself as much as i will love you dating a saint… nothing will change my love to you!!!
another thing she always reminded me with is that i’m a woman… i need men for one thing only in my life as a young lady… i need them for sex only… i do not need one to take care of me… i do not need a man to have kids as i have my daughter… i do not need them to make me feel safe as i can do all that myself… so when i meet a man i like a lot, feel comfortable to spend my time with, share my empty space with, sleep next to regularly, enjoy sex every time, and he is not trying to take over my life, that is a man i will keep dating for as long as this good feelings last!!!
i do not believe a woman should be virgin when she marries… i do not believe a woman should get engaged and suddenly move into a man’s house and live with for ever… i believe in sharing lives with people you think you can and try to live with for years before marrying or taking such steps… i’m a difficult woman to handle… very stubborn and such a pain… can’t relax sleeping next to someone in same bed easily… been married 2 times… been raised up and lived through different religions, culture and countries… i walk with finnish passport and a finnish name… so my kuwaiti part of family won’t be insulted with my view for life… i am NOT a muslim… i am NOT a christian… i am just a simple human who believes in her own believes and respect each one of you for yours… so if you are a woman who says you are 1/2 arab and 1/2 non arab and believe a woman should be a virgin i respect you for that… but in return you need to learn how to respect me for just being me… i do not advice any young girl from any religion or country to have sex or don’t have… as i said i believe in freedom of choice!!!
we are just human… how come you try to judge me, and expect me to judge you??? respect and love is all what there is that will keep peace in this world and can save it… war, hate, anger and human judgments will just bring destruction!!!!
August 21, 2009
Somehow life works out always… a surprise visit from a friend i haven’t seen for over 7 years made me realize i still have a lot of hope… his visit came same day as my mum’s phone call… both made me feel much stronger an made me believe and sure now that everything will ok!!! true my mum’s call lasted 40 mins and i saw my friend just for 3 hours but it was all i needed!!! it’s just bit hard times i have to go through to enjoy better the life when things get all in order!
life is full of surprises and it’s so exciting to wait for the next one always!
May 26, 2009
Why do people deny their blood? Why they are not proud of the blood running deep inside of them??? Why a man comes to me with heavy Indian accent and when I ask him where is he from he says he’s from Barcelona? Why does a Bengali man say at last I’m going to my home country and when asked he says USA? When asked if he was born there he says no just moved there 3 years ago. Why when meeting a black man playing basketball and ask him so where are you from he says I’m from the states with this heavy African accent?? Why? Why is it when an Indian guy come to chat up my friend with his horrible (English wanna be) accent doesn’t simply say I am from Indian origin but I was walk the world with an English nationality?
I know why I denied my ½ blood! I was angry! I hated my dad! So I never wanted even to think of his blood that runs in me! For over 7 years I said I was ½ Finnish and ½ black (never made it clear what black) some days I was ½ English, some ½ African, and some ½ American! But never ½ Arab or Kuwaiti!
I am a proud ½ Kuwaiti! Yes I have my issues with my dad… yes I will never be friends with him! But I’m damn proud of my blood!!! My ½ blood come from a wonderful family! They are good people… ok no family is perfect with any issues… but they are good people! Yes true I do not believe in ½ of what they believe in, but who the hell I am to judge their believes??? They are a family that built them selves from scratch! Their money was not found in trees, but they worked their asses so hard to make it! They are smart people! Their children are doctors and all university graduates! They worked hard (or most of them did) to keep their family together! They are respectful and very well loved by other families! So you are damn right to get to hear me say I’m proud to carry their blood! Maybe I will never have contact except by very few of them… but I’m still proud of the rest of them!
True I walk the ground of this earth with my Finnish nationality that I’m so proud of… But that doesn’t make me deny or less proud of my ½ Kuwaiti blood!
So! Hello! My name is Nora Cassandra and I’m ½ Kuwaiti!
June 15, 2008
I though I made a friend last year… I just thought! I’m bit hurt at the moment! Now I am the type of person I don’t get upset for someone not liking me, or not being able to be my friend… as we all are different and have different opinions about people and life! So no way I will find that all the people in this world loving me… and no way would they all hate me!
This story is different… a person used to read my blog, and I read and still read his/her blog… the he/she came to visit me with some friends… we had or thought we had 3 lovely days! We kept in contact, and got few small chats of him/her, few messages and few comments on my blog… then… then suddenly everything stopped… I sent messages, I commented on his/her blog every now and then, but nothing came back!
Suddenly one night I god a text message very late and it was from him/her… saying he/she is coming with some friends… so I sent back a message saying when next morning… but guess what??? No answer!
Last night was the last thing which really hurt me! I was walking in Agia Napa when I suddenly heard someone calls my name… I look and it was one of this person’s friends that came with him/her last summer!!! I hugged him/her, chatted for few minutes and huge smile on my face! Until he/she tells me that they told my friend about him/her coming so my friend would tell me!! Then went back to the Stelios’ work place and suddenly it hit… this person really has never been my friend… it was just for fun, or curiosity about this crazy ½ Kuwaiti girl that lives and strange life and maybe it was my F1 posts, or maybe just because I seemed different!
Now if you don’t think well about me, or you don’t like me, I have no problem with that what so ever! If you don’t want to have any contact with me that is ok too! But it is rude for a person to be sending me messages at 2am drunk telling me friend I’m coming to Agia Napa then ignores my messages next morning… and it’s rude when you are told to tell me that someone is coming as I saw clearly this person have been looking for me, and was shocked as I wasn’t told he/she was coming!!!
So my friend that I thought you was my friend! I did really care and still care about you as I thought you were a lovely person! But please delete my name from your phone, emails and your msn so I wouldn’t get messages again from you at 2am!!!
It always hurts when you lose a friend!!!
June 8, 2008
Sorry as I will not be posting about the F1 tonight but I will do it by tomorrow after I see the repeat as sadly I will be out at the time of the race! But I’m writing this post to say few things I need to say to a lovely woman!
It’s my mother’s birthday today! Yes a lovely strong woman I know! EEVA… she keeps saying that the day she saw my bottom and breathed after hours of labor and smiled saying: it’s a girl!!! She keeps saying how proud she for having a strong woman like me for a daughter…
Well I really want to say this out loud… I’m nothing of a woman if it wasn’t for her! This woman went through hell and still walked out with head up and strong as any woman can ever be! This woman had her daughter kidnapped from her, lost her for 15 years with quite few hopes through out that period of time that made her think that life is coming back to her, just to loose it again… but she kept strong, what if that girl would show up one day on her door step!? And so that little girl did one day, but she was no little girl anymore… she was a woman and a mother herself.. she was lost, and didn’t know what to do! She was weak and she felt so lost even when she was over 20… so the next few years this amazing woman keeps teaching her lost girl how to be strong like her… if it wasn’t for her and her love, strength and advice her little girl would have grown to be as wise as I am today!
I love this wonderful mother of mine!!! I am so sad I can’t be with her today… even though she knows I am with her with all my heart as I was for in the 15 years I was forced to be far away from her! At least I was able to send her a lovely leather Gabor hand bag and some hallumi and Cyprus sausages for her to enjoy! I am truly lucky and honored to have Eeva as my wonderful mother!
May 22, 2008
Ok people… first of all… I really don’t want you to take this personally, nor think I am trying to attack your believes or religion… remember ½ of my family are muslims and I love them truly!
I had a big fight with a friend today! He was telling about how he is happy as he is a muslim, and how I’m not happy because I’m a free spirited woman who is non muslim!!!
First thing came one was how happy I will be when my daughter decides to have sex… now my daughter is 8… she will always be a baby in my eyes… I will not even be able to imagine her having a husband and children… but it’s a fact she will grow up! Now I said I can’t stop her as I believe she has the full freedom and right to do what she wants after an age (here it’s 16-18)… he said so you’ll be ok if she has sex with a man that is his age (now he is 37 so by then it would be 45-47)… now I said no I will not be happy, but I can’t force her not to… and as I learned from my mother I am allowed to tell her I’m not happy about it, but if she is happy, then I am happy that she is happy!!! (now here he says I’m living an unhappy life because I can’t force my daughter to not to do what makes me unhappy)…
Later on he talks about islam and marrying other women… with my respect I did study islam and the woman has to know when he will do that and marry some one else while she is still his wife!!! Right??? Well here her agreed and said his wife is ok with it… now here when I said so you trying to convince me your wife is happy that you are having sex with another woman??? He said yes! Now he got angry when I told him there is no woman on earth that is happy that her husband is with someone else!!! Not even a sick woman that can’t give pleasure to her husband… she will still feel bitter and sad that he had to go with someone else!!!! And as I told him that (ok I was also using dirty words and he going and ******* another woman’s ***** and then coming home to put his **** in her *****)… so it was more of a fight!!!!
Now my question is… you as a man do you really believe your wife is happy (even when says ok you can get married to another) when you are sleeping with another woman????
And you woman… leave the religion aside and tell me the truth… will you be happy if your husband did that???
It might be just me that can’t see how a woman is happy when she is not allowed to complain and I am un happy because I have the freedom of choice and walking out with ½ of the house, car and everything else as well as kids will belong fully to me and he’ll have visiting rights if he ever touched another woman!!!
Please remember i’m NOT talking about islam… but about happiness in one subject!!!
March 30, 2008
I read yesterday from a girl; actually a very young girl saying there is no real love anymore today… it kind of broke my heart! So this is what I told her today!
So I’m taking this time to send you a message telling you about things people learn from life… ok not all but some people do!
I’m ½ Kuwaiti so I have lived there and know how things worked… I was married to a Kuwaiti for less than a year as well! Now from most Kuwaiti men I got the idea there is no love… they are all full of s*%^…
Now… love is not something you feel as they tell you butterflies and twinkles in your belly… it’s not you can’t sleep the nights thinking of him (or her)… it’s nothing as such! That is called excitement… just the butterflies you get before the teacher calls your name to give you your test result back… the same as when you get when you see a sex scene or a good kiss scene on TV!! That is hormones and excitement!
What they never taught me in Kuwait love is from both sides… you both have to work so fu*^#*@ hard to make it continue! Most men in Kuwait just come home ask for a f*^# and go to the dewaneya (place where Kuwaiti men gather) till 12am and expect you to make the love work! Now who said I fell crazy in love with my husband when we met?? I didn’t.. I lived with him for 1 year before he asked me to marry him! And I said ok but wasn’t even sure… then a another year we worked on issues… but I saw we were still going forward not back… so we married… and I have wanted to leave him like 100 times in the last 4,5 years with him… I wanted to have sex with at least 10 guys through this time (but i didn’t)… so is this what you thought love was? Fights, wanting to have sex with other men (or women), hating each other, and hoping to even die sometimes???
You see you need to learn how to love some one even if it is your child… you think children are born and loved by their parents (especially from their mums)??? Even that love is to be learned… you think it is because they told you it should be… there are mothers never wanting their children, not because they are bad women but because they just simply were not ready to love them! Love is to be learned… you learn to love your child, as you learn how to love your mum or dad, and the same way you learn to love a stranger (partner to be maybe)… even your friends, it’s not you are born to love them but you learn to!
Now between two friends… I mean good friends… I mean perfectly best friends… aren’t their fights?? My god my and Emmi (my life’s best friend) have had our disagreements, or different opinions… but why do we still love each other so much?? It’s because we learned, then we both worked on it… if I was the only one trying to work it out and Emmi has a stubborn head and wouldn’t do anything to help it work, do you think we are still friends??? Of course not!
Same thing with love and family relationships, when a man can’t afford to get a maid or a big 3 bedroom house, or simply pay the woman to do her hair every 2 weeks… and the woman on the other side will never take it as her friend has all that… so why can’t I have it too she thinks… will it work??? when a man comes home from work asking about lunch, then eats, get his afternoon sex, then sleeps and wakes up and goes to see his friends then come home at 12 expecting the wife to be waiting and dinner served for him then sex and sleep and morning goes to work… and he would do this every day… do you think it would work?
Life is communication… you give up things and the other gives up things! You keep time for each other… you fight, but then both think and solve it… both take care of the house, children and the food… both have own friends and still can sit with the other’s friends and be able to handle it or at least pretends for 1 or 2 times a month!!!
Who said my husband like musicals??? Or dance shows??? But he would still sit and watch and even talk nicely about it so he won’t hurt my feelings! Who said I care if Omonia (his national team) wins or loses??? But I still would sit and support them even if it means listening to him talking about them for 1 hour!!! I don’t mind when he goes out with his friends for drinks in Agia Napa (and if you know what kind of a place is Agia Napa you will understand how hard it is)… and he as well doesn’t mind babysitting when I go out in Agia Napa too with my friends!
Love is not forever happiness and safety!!! It is full of sadness, hard times and dangers! The trick is… can you make it last???
Ps; maybe this will give you the idea what you demand from the man (woman) you think of spending your life with…