2012…
If this year is really bringing destruction, disasters and even the end of the world this is what I have to say.
I’m turning 34 this year.
I have a daughter that is healthy (enough), 3rd in her class even if it is first ever time for her studying in English and has missed a whole year before this, who speaks reads and writes 3 +1/2 (starting French) languages… Who is a wonderful young lady who helped me so much throughout her 12 years (13 this years)… Who I can speak to as a friend, as a daughter and as (my care taker) Sometimes, ex; when I’m sick.
I have found a man who I love so much. Who makes me feel like a little girl, like a woman, friend, wife and lover all at the same time! A man who makes me to get over my stress (which who ever knows me knows it’s impossible mission)… A man who finds the way to make me smile even when I’m getting my period (worst time of the month to talk to me)… A man who still can make me feel beautiful even when I have a bloated stomach (health problem I suffer from regularly)… A man who I can spend hours talking to with him listening to me and sharing opinions without trying to force his opinion on mine!
I have friends all around the world who actually love me and I love them. Friends that I do not have to ask daily or weekly about but when I need them they are there for me, and when they need me I’m there for them! They might not be more than 15 all together maybe not even 10… But they are real ones!
I have a family… maybe scattered in many countries, but I have family that I dearly love… Some talking to me some not (for past mistakes) but still I love them all. I have a mother that makes all the pain go away with a kiss. I have amazing brothers and sisters who all have grown up to be amazing adults that I am so proud of. I have a father that I hurt a lot for past reasons that I have asked for his forgiveness for the pain I caused him and tried to explain to him the reasons of the pain and anger towards him… That father might not be talking to me but I wish him all the happiness and health! And let’s not forget the rest of my family that always make me feel happy to hear from.
I have a job that I LOVE… I have been called actually a workaholic today. But I can’t help loving what I’m doing and of course the owner of this company is a man if ever needs a kidney I would take one out of me to give him as I think that man I owe him my life!
I have a long past that is full of action, pain, fun, sadness and happiness… Things I did wrong and said I was sorry for. And wrong things happened to me, which I have forgiven!
If this is the end of the world… I will leave this world sad for missing all these great things, but I have to admit I will leave with a smile that God has blessed me a wonderful life and great happiness!
Thank you GOD!
Happy Eid Al-Adha to all Muslims in the world.
½ of the things in the car were broken and damaged. I chose the best between the worst I saw… I mean for BD180 for one month I was not expecting to rive SLR but at least a decent enough car. I was late for work at noontime so I had to make my choice really fast also.
After I have discovered ½ things are in total mess I told them in the rental office about it, they said I should bring the car and leave it between 8am to noonish for them to take a look at it and fix it… That and they won’t give me a car to use in these hours I’m already paying for.
I said I could not afford doing that as my lunch break is between 1:30pm-3pm. And no chance I can leave the car and walk to work… So they said if you wanted to change it then just come and ask for another car and we see what we have… I asked if anything was available that time on the spot for me to change and of course they said no!
One week later from my conversation, which makes it, around 2 weeks from rental date my battery stops working in the middle of the day… and if you don’t know how hot it gets here it was a good 45degrees. And I was stuck for 45 min in a workers neighborhood where men look for women could be found… As the tailor of Iida’s school uniform was there and I had to go to pick up her clothes. So me a woman with my looks, skirt over knees (length) in a business suit standing for 45 min and having men drive by and harass me by words stopping and trying to give comments and it was HOT time of the day… To have in the end a rude man from Elite Car Rental come to tell me the battery went off because I forgot the light inside open, when I told him I just drove the car here around 1 hour a go got down picked my daughter’s clothes and got back to the car and it did not work… so it was not a light!! He got upset and said ok ok madam what ever you say. They changed the battery and then I drove back to work.
Later that night, around 9:30 pm, I suddenly here strange noise and a park on side while I am in DANGEROUS neighborhood (as there was some trouble happening that day by protestors)… And so I got down to find my back left tire was ripped as if someone had been doing a drifting show on it. I called them to ask for help and they said they couldn’t come to help me as they are (MEN) afraid to come by the area where my car has stopped and JUST GET OUT AND FIX YOUR FLAT TIRE… I open the backs of the car to start trying to change the tire to find out they have not put a lug wrench into the car. Well I called Ali for help and he called a friend and I stayed with Iida at 10pm in the car in dangerous neighborhood just for the battery to go off again after 5 or 10 minutes. I called Elite Car Rental screaming my head off… I was showing how dare they have old tires not changed in the car for years at it seems and not even having a lug wrench??? How dare they pretended to have fixed my battery problem after the man who came to do it disrespected me and I was left for no less than hour in a disrespected area… And how dare they not even come to help a woman and her daughter who are stuck in their car because of their mistakes in a dangerous time in a dangerous neighborhood by saying just get out and fix your flat tire. (and just for your information that another tire was found totally messed up and flat up on pick up the car next day as tires were totally damaged and not less than 2 years old).
So Ali spoke to them as he was calmer than I was and the man Elite Car Rental told him that he will take the car in the morning to the shop and I can get another car to replace it, then he said for a apology they for the bad day with the car breaking down 2 times and for not having a lug wrench and also for not having a car in the morning to drive to work they will offer me a free extra day to replace the lost day.
I got a car next day it was bit better than the first one and I found out that they have actually had it from day 1 of my rent… same exact model but in better condition… But they never wanted to take their better cars out.
Yesterday I went to return the car after 1 month and 1 day has passed on my rental day. To find out I have been fined on the broken tire… Ok I know I have signed a contract saying if I damage a tire I will pay for it, but what woman at 2 pm in so much harry to get back to work would check if the tires of the car has been going through drift shows? I mean it was no less than 47degrees and I was wearing my work suit and I was sweating like a pig checking the car from our side from scratches and hits (which were quite many) and couldn’t wait to finish. THEY GAVE ME A CAR WITH DAMAGED TIRES and blamed on me. And I was told I have to pay for the extra day I kept the car for… So I had a peace of mind with Mr. Nader or Nasser Jaber Al-Dosari who from my screaming told me take the free day…
Well one thing for sure I have to say DO NOT RENT FROM Elite Car Rental!!!!
Update; When I was in the Elite Car Rental to return the car I met another person that his car been breaking up more than once and he has given up calling them and getting them fix it so he came to change it and agreed that Elite Car Rental are thieves and very untrustworthy company in Bahrain!
Another update; After searching a little about the Bahrain’s Elite Car Rental I found out that Mr. Nader or Nasser Jaber Al-Dosari gives special offer to special people. He actually allows the female prostitutes (which actually are working in hotels as prostitutes) to rent without any down payment except for special services they give him and rest of the rent which usually will be like 1/2 of the usual rent to be paid up on return of the car. So no wonder a man that is not making enough money (as sex don’t put food on his kids table) would try to manipulate and squeeze as much money he can from his customers (who are not prostitutes)!! So be careful if you are not a professional prostitute and can’t offer Mr. Nader or Nasser Jaber Al-Dosari professional SEX payment, do not rent from him or he will make you pay extra charges for any scratch that it was even put on the check up report which was written before you taken the car!!
Yesterday was my 33rd birthday! I am happy to say I still don’t feel I passed early 20s but seems my body getting more tired! Working a week between 10-13 hours 6 days through out the month of Ramadan and working after that 9-10 hours 6 days a week might have something to do with being bit tired… But also it could be the sign of me getting old! 
Wishing all Muslims around the World a very happy and peaceful Eid,
May this year’s Eid give you all the happiness and Joy.
Eid Fitr Mubarik!
Ramadan, I’m tried; lack of sleep and what they said will be a quiet month at work seems to be one of the busiest.
I love my job… thought of saying that once again.
At last I will reveal out loud where I’m working. I am working now full time at Lilou Pattísseríe. It is amazing!
I am not allowed to say much without consulting the marketing manager but something I have to say is 7 years in food & beverages field I have never been more amazed of how far this field can go.
I started in May and then I got the comment from Ali Dadi that he has never seen me this excited and happy. Of course there are ups and downs as any job but I am truly happy! I enjoy being in kitchens again and for first time ever experiencing sweets… True I have never been a fan of sweets but it is so interesting. Tasting sometimes feels like a challenge specially if I had tasted 2 or 3 different kinds already, then I seem not to have any sense of taste. But I am happy to be able to do it, as Chef Samer (who is such an amazing and creative chef that I never thought I could meet in my life time) asks me to taste and asks for my opinion. So I think I’m doing ok tasting sweets!
There are of course the hot kitchens with all kind of pastas, stakes, Arabic, European, Asian and American kitchens (food)… God knows I could keep going on!
Iida is starting school in September and her birthday is that time, so big plans for her birthday! Hope she’ll have enough friends to invite!
Ali and I are still doing well… ups and downs, stress took us down few times specially with his job being such a pain the last 6 months. But we still survive and find the way in between the hard times to lay down in bed, joke and make love…
So
1 year and 1 month has passed since I moved to Bahrain. I am in love with Bahrain, with Ali, with my work and my little Iida… I guess that counts as a GOOD year! 
I just found sometime to write…
I actually don’t know where to start. So much has happened around me. Political stuff, mental stuff, heart related stuff, work, Iida, Ali.
Well. Politics… I do NOT give my opinion there… As I said in Cyprus before that in Finland and even before that in Kuwait. Wars and political issues always have 2 sides or more… And non I meet even wants to see both sides… As most of the world will say one side has the right, but still there in still the other side… In wars as in Cyprus Turkey’s war people said how bad the Turks were and how they did all the war crimes… They even try to plant hate in the kids’ hearts in schools toward the Turks. I disagreed with that as Iida came to me saying she had to write a school report of the war crimes Turkish Cypriot did to the Greek Cypriots. I simply told her if the teacher allows you to write of the war crimes the Greek Cypriots did to the Turkish Cypriots and vice versa than you can write the report but you are not allowed to take sides in a war happened decades ago! After all each war has it’s victims from both sides. Even if I am a Kuwaiti and love Kuwait and will never agree with Saddam did to Kuwait, I still know that, that war did not end with only Kuwaitis getting hurt. I know Kuwaitis also ended up doing war crimes against Iraqi soldiers and even Iraqi civilians living in Kuwait at that time. In my opinion as a Fin, things should be talked about and found solutions without troubling anyone’s life… But then again if there never were someone who disagrees or protests the world would stop developing! After all how did women in Finland got their strong stand today if it wasn’t for the fight they went through… But still… I will never take sides in fights, conflicts or arguments that clearly are not for me!
I got let go from my previous job because of the mess that happened in Bahrain. I was broke, mentally tired, and not sure even if I would stay in Bahrain. I was so close to move back to Finland but to be honest was so happy things went back to normal and I got a new job!
I have to say Bahrain is back to normal. Yes you see still check points and security police around more than you did 6 months ago, but it’s back to normal. Friends are back to their spots meeting up, Sunni and Sheea friends are still on same table joking and enjoying life and their friendship. So I am staying here and still think Bahrain is really cool and I love being here!!!
I love my new job! I will not talk about it much as I still have 1 more month of probation till I’m settled in. I just got to say I really love Restaurant, kitchen and FRONTLINE positions… So YES back to hospitality and restaurant business! 
I’m still in Love with the same man! He is away right now in India which maybe is the reason I am at home and have the time to write as he left me his laptop!
Iida got accepted to AMA school. She went for the entrance exam with Ali. She came out with the teacher, as it seems she got her impressed! She passed the exam with full mark and she was told that she would be put into A class… where they put all their hard-working students to not have bad influence from other students in other classes.
That’s about it for now! I am happy… Alive… In love… Enjoying my new job… And so proud of my little girl!
يوم سعيد .ليكن اليوم فاصل في ازمنتنا التي تتباهي بحركية موج التمرد .. الذي لن ينتصر نهائيا الا متى تانثت القيم والتصورات والعلامات …لانه في تانثها تحرير لها من ازمنة الدكورة التي قامت على قهر الانسان وعلى استعباده وفرض خنوعه وخضوعه… ليس يوما للاحتفال فقط بعيد المراة ..بل يوم لغرس قيم مناقضة لقيم التهميش ورفض لسلط ذكورة لم يشهد تاريخها سوى على ما اثقل البشرية بالدماء والنهب واللصوصية والولاءات الزائفة
Good day. May this day be the dividing point for our crisis that are being showed off with the insurgency and rebellion waves… Which will not have a complete win (or success) until the feminization of the values, the perceptions and the signs… Because with feminizing them it would set them free from the male and masculinity times that got to conquer humanity by slavering it and by applying on it the imposition of subservient (obedience) and surrender… It’s not just a day to celebrate the Women’s Day… But a day to implant values that contrasts the values of marginalization (subordinate) and to refuse male and masculine power that its history did not witness anything but the great pressure on humanity with blood, looting, larceny and false loyalties.
This was written by a friend who is an artist and writer. An Arab, Male, very Masculine and older than 40 years, Married. So not a woman nor a gay man has written this paragraph.
Is it… Is it true if feminizing the rules and the Arab world it would save them? Well… It might be a good idea to apply or at least to try as we did in Finland and many other countries including US and UK… It seems to be working there!
For what it’s worth… I am proud to be woman! I am Proud of being my mum’s daughter who is a great woman herself. And so proud to her mother’s grandchild as an amazing mother of three wonderful women that make our family stand and made other families stand through the years… Yes a family of women and I am so proud to be one of them!!! True thanks for my very few male cousins in the women’s family for adopting the feminine values we carried on… Thank you for being proud of our strength and thank you for respecting us throughout the years….
Happy Women’s Day… Be proud of being one!!!
I don’t know… I can’t write about things happening in Bahrain as I promised to keep my pen down off doing that.
But what I can write about are my feelings… I feel so bad and sad for knowing about the F1′s postponement if not cancellation from Bahrain. I know other events will be coming. And I will somehow get to attend an F1 race this year but still it got to me!
I am feeling quite low these days. My weight has gone up as not as much movement. We are still going out, but not as much everywhere is quiet and empty!
I’m hoping to start a new job sometime soon. I need a visa and my boss has an excuse right on tip of his tongue every time the issue gets mentioned… now the excuse is the events and problems in Bahrain are preventing him from getting my papers done! Even if it means leaving Event Management and working in customer service for the visa I will do it!
My boyfriend is feeling low as well these days as the motor sports events been canceled and that is his passion. He also gained weight after quitting smoking and also after the movement got much less as well. This got him back to smoking again which I was sad but I do understand it… Finding myself asking for cigarette from someone just to calm myself down every now and then. Even if it maybe 2 a week it’s more than what I smoked before this sad events all started.
Iida also has had really bad time as her movement and going out is much less…
Hoping things get better soon!!! 
Update; I know it’s been just few hours since I wrote this post… But it’s already been a better day. I love my man a lot and he helps me smiling… Dana (who is a friend of my man’s) and I guess now Iida’s friend and mine was lovely to spend time with and to share few feelings from the past that was difficult to explain to someone else who has not been through them herself!!! So glad to have friends here!!
You!! I do not know how to describe or tell in words how you make me feel.
I am a very difficult person that no man can stay with for long. You seem to be stronger than I ever thought you would be! You are still around! And I feel you are so much stronger and more loving even.
You make me feel so safe being in your arms. You calm me when I’m angry in ways I never thought a man could! You get me to smile when I am so upset with you or with something you did! You get me all turned on when I think no man or anything could in this world and make me travel the skies each time you make love to me!
I never in my life felt so amazing with a man for this long! You are truly amazing! You came to remind me how life is worth living again! When the only reasons were left were my daughter and the sake of being strong! I was giving up the day you made me laugh! Even now with all the hard times and sad things going on around us in our life and the country, you get me smiling and get me looking at life in a good way!
You ever heard of butterflies in stomach??? Well you gave them to me when we kissed first on August 27th. And still those butterflies keep making me feel funny and nice when you kissed me today when you dropped me to work!
I guess it is true and I am in love! You just called me and asked me if I loved you, and I said a lot. You asked only? I said if you wanted me to jump off the balcony for you!? You said you would be lost then without me! True I won’t jump off a cliff nor a balcony for just being in love and I need to stay well for my little girl… But you give me the strength and believes that I would not get hurt as my wings will come out and I’ll fly.
Your face is memorized in my head and when ever I need to smile I get it out in front of my eyes and see your face and how you look at me and soon the smile on my face again… Thank you!
I thought just to let you know while I am sure I am around alive a little of how I feel with you! And thought to say it on your birthday to make sure you remembered this birthday you were with a woman who is crazy in love with you. So please don’t ask again why is your birthday important! It’s the date when an amazing man who got my soul living again was born!
Happy birthday sweet man of mine! :-*
