October 17, 2013
September 7, 2013
I was asked while ago how did I become who I am from someone at work. Why I love everyone even if someone hurts me I’ll still show love.
I think I changed a lot… It’s true. I can see it and feel it. I have forgiven people I thought I would never forgive. I have wished them well from bottom of my heart. Health and love is my biggest wish for everyone.
Was a day when someone speaks of me with lies and tries to get me in trouble meant revenge to me that I would plan slowly but painfully… I used to think the more I made them suffer the happier I would get…
Took me years but now I can say that was so wrong… When I planned the revenge it hurt me even more because that meant I had to think of the pain they caused me for long time, which caused even more pain…
When I noticed I changed my ways was a year or so back… Why would a beautiful woman, successful in higher position than I am and better financial situation talk about me lies trying to have some people fight with me… Yes I got angry for some hours, maybe a day… Slept on it. Woke up next morning calm… I started looking at the problem and reason from outside the situation. A beautiful woman used getting all eyes all attention all the compliments to her way, suddenly someone with more weight, always known with no make up, lower educational level and someone people never have to interact with much to now her way of thinking.
Suddenly I was there, had better answers to questions were asked, I had sexy still elegant dress on that made my extra kilos look like amazing beautiful curves, my makeup was low but enough to give a sine to my skin. All men around gave me compliments instead of her; every now and then loudly someone compliments how amazed they are of my answer… She was in a shock. She was angry… She was me 10 years back living in pain inside looking for revenge… So she said what she said…
Month later was sorry for what she did as I never even let her know that her painful words have reached me. I forgave her in less that 2 days after hearing what she said. People might see her as not very nice person, envious or even evil… But what I think she is ok and lovely person most of the time but maybe just hurt because of the community she grew in. Now when she talk to me she is even nicer than before unfortunate incident that happened.
Forgive… I can’t forget though, I wish I could forget it would help be even better!!
I Love myself. I love people around me as a result.
Also I was lucky to love a man who loves me back even more…
I guess I am better because of LOVE… LOVE is the answer!!!
July 19, 2013
Once upon a time. My mum said to me if you love someone so much you have to be ready to allow to set him/her free… This comes I guess because she knew me and my sister after growing up will move out and have a life of our own.
I have been once again in a situation where I loved someone so much. He was a true smile to us as work. He was amazing person that I enjoyed the way he always to advice, critic and orders with such a good spirit. Same time he was not afraid of me simply because I was his direct manager, instead he actually came to give me ideas and advice if he thought things might be better way he saw them. I appreciated that a lot!
My dear Antone is love as the other guys and girls I have around, but when he came to tell me he was leaving I knew it won’t be easy. He will be missed and big support to our group will be hurt at least for missing him. I asked if it was money and I believe him when he said no. I asked if it was position and I believed him when he said no. When he said Madam I love you but I feel it’s time for me to move on to something new and different I believed him.
Antone is dearly missed, and truly loved. We had to let him go! And from the bottom of my heart I wish him all success and happiness!
Antone, you were not just staff… You were a friend and family member! You will always be loved and remembered!
Ps; Thank you for the coffee!!
June 30, 2013
I come to work every day, put my hand on a steward’s shoulder and look at his eyes and ask him how is he today… Sadly I’m bad with names so I did not remember his name, but the smile I gave him, my gentle tap on his shoulder and question about how he was were so true that made him smile and eyes lid. He carried on his work.
I went to the kitchen and saw one of the ladies so busy deep in her cake make with a slight frown on her face (this one I remembered her name) so by name spoke to her told her good morning a passed my hand on the arm to make sure she lifted her eyes up and looked at me and suddenly smile was placed her face returning to work instead of the slight frown…
I walk deeper to the kitchen to see the chef with tired look and a loud AHHH coming out of him before I hug him with a smile and tell him good morning chef… Smile!!! It’s a good day. Suddenly he was smiling and seemed ready for work!
Human touch… A true friendly smile. Very sincere how are you today makes work family and loving atmosphere…
When you are someone like me or someone who works with me a person who leaves his family and social life behind to work 10-12 hours daily you need to make your work more of a family. More of a comfort zone where you can talk, smile joke and hug… Have a family love running around between everyone to make people work and stay for love, not simply work for salary.
Unfortunately my believes do not work in this country. I was told I was unprofessional and never to exceed a hand shake with anyone working. I can do that! But that will change from my work family to work colleague… That will change for me caring about a stranger I do not remember his name simply because he is just someone who works under the same roof, but has nothing to do with me… I will always care as human being, but I will want to run back home to me FAMILY now… Do not expect me to want to stay 1 hour or even 30min extra with someone I can’t call family!!
I will miss my brothers that I made at work who now are changed with in one day into work colleagues… I will miss joking and making the day easier for my staff and work collogues… But always look up at the bright side… Now there is a clear line drawn between WORK and FAMILY!!! And when you will ask me who do you want to spend more time with, which do you care of more… It will be FAMILY not WORK!!!
April 26, 2013
“Who said F1 is all about Metal, Oils, Amazing Cars and Fights For Podium??” Said Fabrizio “It’s also about Romance and love!” He gave me a big hug and congratulated me!!
He said that to me after Jo Bauer has just congratulated me in person.
21. April. 2013… Was the most perfect day in my last many years…
I was a Scrutineer For GP2 and observer and trainee for F1 Scrutineer which allowed me to get on the grid for the first time in my life while F1. I was in cloud 9 as they say… I was doing my job, but still overwhelmed and excited of my dream coming true and being there where the race will start in 15 minutes…
God I was not ready to find my love Ali Dadi pulling me for the 3rd time to Kimi Räikkönen’s car and stands in front of it. I was standing literally 75 cm from the Kimi Räikkönen’s car, while Kimi was behind me getting ready putting on his gear. When Ali Dadi held my hands “This is how it all started, this is what brought us together.” He Said… Then went down on one knee. “I love you and would love to spend the rest of my life with you!! Would you marry me?”
I was in shock. Totally blown away. Not sure how to feel. Excitement, Love, and Overwhelming feelings I didn’t know even existed in me! Tears falling out of my eyes… Couldn’t stop them… I SAID YES!!!
How can I say no if Charlie Whiting approved of my engagement before I did myself… Well I would have said yes even if no one else approved… But Charlie Whiting and Shaikh Salman Bin Isa helped in my approval even more!!!
I would love to thank all friends, family, BIC staff, marshals and the whole FIA officials and personal that made my dreams come true on F1 Grid… In front of Kimi Räikkönen’s car…
I am no longer in cloud 9 I’m flying in cloud 12 very happy… I am not just getting married to the most amazing man in the world, but also spending my life around Metal, Oils, Amazing Cars and Fights For Podium, BUT ALSO Romance and love!!!
April 1, 2013
I was talking about love to a friend of mine.
After reading Brida by Paulo Coelho as I advised him 2 years ago, he seemed to be wondering about soul-mates. So he asked me of what I thought of it…
In my life, after Brida and few other books… I did get to a conclusion we have many soul mates. Some are meant to help you through few months, some for years and some for life time. And some to help you just for few days. Doesn’t mean they are not meant for you or they are not your soul-mate, it only means they were there for a reason in your life building and your life path.
Ali I love a lot. And yes I feel he is the one. He makes me smile. He knows to handle my difficult days and moments… and believe me I am SO DIFFICULT… When no one else in the world that I have met was able to do so.
He is 5.5 years younger than me, but I do not feel that. And to be honest I felt this way (or thought I did) towards someone else before who was some years older than me which my feelings lasted few months, and a man who was my age which my feelings lasted for around a year… So those two men came in different times where I was in need for them, to show me the path, to show me lessons and maybe to teach me about my own self! So their time passed. Doesn’t mean I stopped loving them but my love for them changed, they were not my soul-mate anymore.
Do I miss anyone from the past? Yeh sometimes I would miss something or someone, but would I leave Ali for that if I get the chance to have it back? My answer is still NO…
Every now and then someone passes, maybe reminds me of something I miss. Or gets me excited in a way or another… I take step back and think… This person is he worth loosing Ali for? The excitement he offers is it worth leaving my life and love for Ali… Answer still today comes to my head and it’s NO…
So maybe Ali is the final path in my relationship life for me… my lasting soul-mate… But do I believe beyond reasonable doubt that this will last forever??? NO… There is always a chance his time ends and I have some other soul mate to go another path with. Or he would have another soul-mate to another path with.
I’ll give you an example… My mum is married 3 times and divorced 3 times… Her sister (my Aunt) has been with her husband for 41 years… I asked my mum about my aunt’s secret and everyone else’s who lasts so long with one person as now I see my Ali’s parents. She told me that there is no such thing as easy path and unconditional love. There has been for sure someone younger, cuter, lovable, exciting or promising that has passed through both of their lives and paths… And if not someone passing through their lives it would be the difficulties that must have faced them through the way… She did not mean someone cheated nor had sex with someone else… But that they had to stop… they had to make the hard decision… Do I choose my long life partner, or this another life that looks more fun?? They chose… They had to choose one way!! They are still together shows what way they chose!!! Some people can’t continue together for some reasons, some people choose easy way out but that is their right to choose, we cannot force someone to live a life they did not choose!!
I am not good hiding my past so everyone knows who I am… I am loud, clumsy, a mess, and really difficult with my unbelievable mood swings… Ali loves me the way I am… He thinks my bad side is worth handling because my good side is worth keeping… And I think the same about him.
I think soul-mates… are partners that make you feel good for being WHO YOU ARE… Same time you love them for WHO THEY ARE…
I truly hope he is my for everlasting soul-mate!!