April 26, 2013
April 1, 2013
I was talking about love to a friend of mine.
After reading Brida by Paulo Coelho as I advised him 2 years ago, he seemed to be wondering about soul-mates. So he asked me of what I thought of it…
In my life, after Brida and few other books… I did get to a conclusion we have many soul mates. Some are meant to help you through few months, some for years and some for life time. And some to help you just for few days. Doesn’t mean they are not meant for you or they are not your soul-mate, it only means they were there for a reason in your life building and your life path.
Ali I love a lot. And yes I feel he is the one. He makes me smile. He knows to handle my difficult days and moments… and believe me I am SO DIFFICULT… When no one else in the world that I have met was able to do so.
He is 5.5 years younger than me, but I do not feel that. And to be honest I felt this way (or thought I did) towards someone else before who was some years older than me which my feelings lasted few months, and a man who was my age which my feelings lasted for around a year… So those two men came in different times where I was in need for them, to show me the path, to show me lessons and maybe to teach me about my own self! So their time passed. Doesn’t mean I stopped loving them but my love for them changed, they were not my soul-mate anymore.
Do I miss anyone from the past? Yeh sometimes I would miss something or someone, but would I leave Ali for that if I get the chance to have it back? My answer is still NO…
Every now and then someone passes, maybe reminds me of something I miss. Or gets me excited in a way or another… I take step back and think… This person is he worth loosing Ali for? The excitement he offers is it worth leaving my life and love for Ali… Answer still today comes to my head and it’s NO…
So maybe Ali is the final path in my relationship life for me… my lasting soul-mate… But do I believe beyond reasonable doubt that this will last forever??? NO… There is always a chance his time ends and I have some other soul mate to go another path with. Or he would have another soul-mate to another path with.
I’ll give you an example… My mum is married 3 times and divorced 3 times… Her sister (my Aunt) has been with her husband for 41 years… I asked my mum about my aunt’s secret and everyone else’s who lasts so long with one person as now I see my Ali’s parents. She told me that there is no such thing as easy path and unconditional love. There has been for sure someone younger, cuter, lovable, exciting or promising that has passed through both of their lives and paths… And if not someone passing through their lives it would be the difficulties that must have faced them through the way… She did not mean someone cheated nor had sex with someone else… But that they had to stop… they had to make the hard decision… Do I choose my long life partner, or this another life that looks more fun?? They chose… They had to choose one way!! They are still together shows what way they chose!!! Some people can’t continue together for some reasons, some people choose easy way out but that is their right to choose, we cannot force someone to live a life they did not choose!!
I am not good hiding my past so everyone knows who I am… I am loud, clumsy, a mess, and really difficult with my unbelievable mood swings… Ali loves me the way I am… He thinks my bad side is worth handling because my good side is worth keeping… And I think the same about him.
I think soul-mates… are partners that make you feel good for being WHO YOU ARE… Same time you love them for WHO THEY ARE…
I truly hope he is my for everlasting soul-mate!!
March 22, 2013
Been working for quite enough time in a place where I meet the high society of the country. Really a great experience, I like it and I think it’s very interesting to get to know so many different families from different origins, flavors, tastes and styles they go for.
That is all great… But then.
I meet the high society tails. Or people how hang around them trying to be them. Then coming want to live like them but don’t want to pay like them.
I see women who buy a purse for good € 1000 and then go to show it off in front of people who can’t afford € 20 purse. A woman ordering a dinner for € 500 and want to match it with a €1500 which her friend got just few weeks before her… After bargaining for hours she would agree on the € 500 with cheaper and less items.
The thing is. Not just at work, BIC, Friends, Family… Everywhere around here I see people as such.
You don’t have the money why try to pretend to be one of the ones who has? Why do you want to order cake that someone from the rich people ordered but you get angry when asked from you to pay as much as they paid? A wedding cake that coast someone else € 3000 will cost you € 3000 as well… You will not get it cheaper because your family name is not as wealthy as the one before you!
Why do you try to hurt people who can’t afford what you can?
I can’t afford many things… And well I think it’s stupidity pay € 1000 on a purse… But. I still can sit with my head high with high society and with all my respect with the more unfortunate in wealth part of society. I will be comfortable in an Opera or a ballet in an opera house, just as I will feel comfortable in a Whitesnake, an Iron Maiden’s concerts or even in Circus Mundus Absurdus’ show in a hockey arena…
I can be myself with an Orthodox priest in church, with a Jewish family on a dinner table, with religious Muslim man in his house… I can be myself with old, young, men and women. Maybe that’s why today I can say I am not some wanna be… I am not a tail to anyone… and for sure I Love me the way I am… I do not need to buy a € 1000 purse to belong or for someone to respect me.
So why do you need a €1000 purse and pretend to be rich when you don’t dare to live as the rich people you pretend to belong to do?
February 7, 2013
It’s been ages since I have written a word. My God I feel guilty. I work and work and work. Seems all my life became nothing but work. My books left on side to get dusty. My writings have been put on hold!
I wish I get some time to be able to simply get back to few things.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE MY JOB… But my talk, dreams and head seems to be all about work. I need to find a way to get other things done somehow!
August 2, 2012
We are here for few days now. Well almost 1 week has passed, but it seemed just few days. The best part we have done so much already!!
Ali seems to be having fun and Iida asking when are we moving back means she is really loving it.
For me it’s just simple. I’m Loving Finland!!
July 24, 2012
So they tell Ali how come… She was married before and had been in love before!!
And they tell me how come… you are not his first love!!!
I say… I met a man who I never intended to fall in love with. I don’t think it was his plan to fall in love with me either. I am not for his culture even if I understand it as my father’s families are Sheat Muslims. But end of the day I do not believe or follow their believes.
I am not sure why me when he have had such lovely women in his life. And he had many others available waiting for a sign from him to ask them out.
I fell for Ali’s family before meeting them, now that I have met them and actually moved in to live in the same house with his parents I have to say I was wrong… They are not at all as nice a wonderful and sweet as I thought THEY ARE MUCH BETTER AND SWEETER AND LOVING. They are AMAZING.
I met some cousins, which I like and I am actually going shopping tomorrow with one for sweets for my trip to Finland. I am happy with what I have chosen and what have come to my life after falling in love with Ali.
He will be joining Iida and me in our trip to Finland where he will love my family and friends. Hoping he will like them as I love his family and friends!
In the end of the day Being someone’s first love is great, but to be their LAST is beyond PERFECT!!
July 22, 2012
I can’t wait to see my mum, friends and family… only few days left and I will be breathing that air I missed!
But this time I’ll be with the man I love. Ali Dadi is joining Iida and me on this trip. So much in plan not sure what we can and can’t do in this short time we are there!
We are even visiting Sweden! How we will manage to do all what are planning to do!?
I can’t wait for my mum to hug me!! I can’t wait to go out with Emmi!! I can’t wait to go for the Cruise to Sweden with Kerttu!!! I can’t wait to see my little niece and my sister Sara and talk about Bahrain!!! And now knowing we have family gatherings at my Aunt Anna-Liisa’s place made me so happy!!!
I hope Ali Dadi will love this trip. Hoping he will love my Family and friends! Well… I’m sure he will love everyone because he loves me!
July 20, 2012
June 25, 2012
June 22, 2012
I read this on * Colours Of Life * on Facebook. I had to share it! I just thought it might not have been written by an amazing writer but by a true one… someone who have wrote from heart with his/her simple words.
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. “What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked.
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. “I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.” She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s. “I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, “she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting.”
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.
“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home. “Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.”
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I LOVE YOU” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time.”